Tag Archives: American in South Africa

Mourning after the death of 49 babies

I’ve been trying to avoid thinking too much about the events in Orlando. Here in South Africa, I could be a world away, and yet it’s feeling deeply personal this time. I feel it on so many levels, and I wasn’t sure why this mass shooting felt so much harder than previous ones. But then I saw a post that made me realize why.

My Facebook is filled with outrage, support, memorials and other posts. But this one nearly brought me to tears this morning. In the early hours of the morning, the young man texted his mom to say he loved her. He was hurt, hiding in the bathroom and ultimately gunned down. And I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, holding my little princess Harley, feeling like I can barely breathe. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Pinterest.
Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

11 Comments Rambling

On being authentically myself

We often hear the advice when people are going on dates or for job interviews or any other first impression situations – “just be yourself”. As if you could be anyone else anyway. But nevertheless, I still have been asked a lot about how I’m so open on this blog. I talk about so many things, from parenting woes to post-baby sex to postpartum depression. And yet, I hesitate every time I post a picture (or video) of Harley online. It’s a strange balancing act, but an important one.

There were many years when I would try to fit in. It’s not that I would change who I was, but I did try to adapt to my environment a bit more than might have been necessary. Each time I reclaimed my true and authentic self, it felt like I could finally breathe again. It’s part of why I love the geek and gamer culture so much – it’s a bunch of weird and wonderful people who get excited about niche things and don’t try to hide it. It’s why I hope for Harley to be a natural born geek – not just because I hope she finds some of those gaming or geeky things interesting, but because I want her to embrace those things that might make her different without ending up feeling weird. But I have to lead by example. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Pinterest.
Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

1 Comment Rambling

Why we need to start thinking about emigrating

I love South Africa. It is my home and Dean and I have been very happy here. We have built a wonderful, comfy life with our little home, our cats, our daughter. We lead a pretty cushy lifestyle, too, with plenty of sushi, nights out, special gifts and whatever else our hearts desire. Both of us have fantastic jobs that we love, and we are just so happy. So why, why are we talking about emigrating?

Just a few months ago, I told all of you that we weren’t thinking about moving. Every country has its issues and there was no compelling reason to even look at leaving South Africa – why move when we have it so good here? Well, I still think that every country has its problems, and we  need to feel our way through this decision, but the more I think about Harley’s future, the more I think that we should probably move somewhere else. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Pinterest.
Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

14 Comments Parenting

Being pregnant in Africa is sort of wonderful

When I first fell pregnant, a bunch of people asked me where I was planning to have the baby. Um, here? I guess people thought I’d feel more comfortable returning to America to deliver Harley. It’s weird, but I guess the stereotype that deep dark Africa is still a scary place or something and I’d prefer to have the kid in the safety of my home soil. If only people realized just how nice the local hospitals are, and just how comfy I am at home. Plus, haven’t people realized yet that healthcare in SA is sorta awesome and healthcare in the US is sorta unaffordable? At least here I have medical aid, plus the knowledge that I’ll be surrounded by awesome nurses and healthcare professionals who will make sure I’m okay?

Anyway, it got me thinking about other differences. I remember growing up in New York, my mom taught me to always give up my seat on a crowded bus or subway if a pregnant woman got on, and I always did. But there were plenty of times I saw pregnant women forced to stand because no one gave up their seat and I didn’t have one to give. Or carrying heavy groceries. Or suffering in the ridiculously heat. And it makes me incredibly grateful to be living in South Africa while pregnant, and even excited to be having the kid here. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Pinterest.
Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

1 Comment Pregnancy, South Africa

Forever foreign

I love South Africa. I love my South African husband, I love my home (although I definitely want to get a bigger house ASAP), I love my cats and I love my day to day life here. It was a choice we made to settle in Joburg, and despite the ridiculous Rand/Dollar exchange rate, I’m still feeling like it was a good decision to make.

Of course, it isn’t always easy. I’m not just talking about cultural differences or contexts that I’m still discovering after seven years here. Those are mostly entertaining or interesting for me, and a whole load of fun. No, I’m talking about how this country continues to make me feel like a stranger in a strange land.

Dean and I got married in Community of Property. I know, I know, that was probably some fatal mistake and all of you will now think I’m an idiot. But, from when we started dating, we always just took care of each other. If he had money, he’d stock my fridge and when I had cash I’d restock his. We’d take turns buying each other drinks or dinners and it was generally just a balanced exchange without really needing to talk about it. When I decided to move to South Africa to be with him, he wanted for everything to be shared, giving me full powers on his bank account and we always treated our money as just that – OUR money. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Pinterest.
Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

1 Comment Gaming, Rambling, South Africa