Tag Archives: Working mom

Something’s gotta give, or risk burning out

burning out

I feel like every other article I read is about moms burning out, about how overworked we are, about how depleted we are. There was this excellent one about post-partum depletion and the bounce back myth that says we need to stop expecting women (and ourselves) to get back to “normal” after having a baby. Another great read was this one about a working mom who finally put herself first, opting to get sleep and exercise and slow down a bit instead of working insane hours and then giving the rest of her life force to her family. Considering how much I’m seeing these articles shared on social media, I figure I’m not alone in feeling this way.

It’s not meant as a complaint, or a rant, or some sort of feminist tirade, but I do feel that we put unrealistic expectations on women. I know I put unrealistic expectations on myself. I still fully expect myself to be able to work like I did before I had a kid, to perform well at my job. I also want to be a stellar mom, spending quality time with my kid to help her grow and develop and learn. (Oh, and apparently the intensive motherhood that I want is great for baby but leads to higher rates of unhappiness amongst moms.) I still want to be a loving and helpful wife, make coffee in the mornings and dinner at night and be keen for alone time when Harley is asleep. Oh, and I also want to get back into shape, exercise and eat right. Plus, I know I need time to read books, watch series and play games. But there aren’t enough hours in the day, are there? Continue Reading

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8 Comments Marriage, Parenting, Rambling

Just Quit

just quit

I like to think that I’m a pretty ambitious person. I’m continually challenging myself, pushing myself to do more, to be more. It’s a quality that sounds great on a job interview, but doesn’t always work out to make me relaxed and happy. It’s because I like to dream big, to imagine doing more and more, to watch my career grow, that sometimes I end up feeling overwhelmed or inadequate. I know a big part of it is the mom guilt crap, but I’ve rediscovered my ultimate cure for it.

You see, growing up, I also liked doing a lot of cool extra things. I’d get involved in drama productions, join musical groups, take part in the Model United Nations, and any number of other extra activities. And sometimes, I would feel like I had too much to do, that I couldn’t handle it all. My mom was always very encouraging, reminding me that I could do anything I set my mind to. But she would also always give me a clear alternative – Just Quit! Continue Reading

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2 Comments Parenting, Rambling

I don’t know how I balanced work and motherhood last week

balance

Last week was pure chaos for me. It’s always busy in the local gaming industry in the week leading up to rAge. No, we aren’t building stands or preparing for the expo in the way that the distributors do, but as press we need to book our interviews, coordinate schedules, and get invited to all kinds of events. On top of the usual mayhem, my awesome editor was away, which meant that I was in charge. It was so busy, and I often felt like I was running around like a mad woman. In between it all, I was still looking after Harley.

My little princess seems to be going through the mother of all growth spurts. Or maybe she is teething. Or maybe it’s both – I’m honestly not too sure. All I know is that she was particularly clingy last week. Thankfully, she was also pretty sleepy, getting some longer naps than usual in the mornings. Mostly on me, but still, at least I was able to work while she slept. When she was awake, it was hard to do much of anything – she was so busy but also refused to just sit on the floor and play with her toys for more than a few minutes at a time. Continue Reading

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8 Comments Parenting

The ends of the earth

ends of the earth

As I’ve gotten older, I’m even more amused and intrigued by the difference between what people say and what they do. I truly value the people who have those two things align, but I know it’s so very rare. Sometimes it’s a good thing, like when any of us get upset and talk about what we feel like doing. But sometimes, it shows a real disconnect in terms of what we imagine we would do for someone and where our boundaries actually lie. Nothing says it for me more than the phrase “but I would go to the ends of the earth for you/him/her”.  Continue Reading

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1 Comment Rambling

Equality is impossible so suck it up

A big thrust of my goals with Harley has been to raise her in a fairly gender neutral way. I want her to know that girls and women can do anything, be anything. If she wants to be a doctor, an astronaut, or president, she can do exactly that. And I totally stand by that goal. I also wanted to raise her to not feel imposed upon by society’s gender norms, but I realize that’s not really up to me.

I believe in fighting against inequality in all its manifestations. It’s only by fighting the gender wage gap, the pink tax, awful rape culture and systemic gender stereotypes that we can change the world. But even as we fight, we have to be realistic about what is expected of women and girls, and how we have to play the game to be successful. Continue Reading

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26 Comments Rambling