Browsing Category: Featured

Life and Death

life and death

Just shy of two weeks ago, Harley and I went to our first funeral. But it’s not just the day of the funeral that has stuck with me, it’s everything around it, too. You see, one of my closest friend’s mom died in a tragic and sudden way. It’s been devastating for the family, but also for everyone who was touched by her life. Jan was a beautiful, generous, loving woman who made everyone feel special. She loved Harley so much, too, and called herself Harley’s God-Grandmother. And she was. And now that she’s gone, it’s made me think about the past as well as the future.

Looking back, I wish I had seen her more. I have wonderful memories with her, but I wish I had even more. I wish I had asked her to hang out with me and Harley when she was free in Joburg. I generally don’t believe in regret – I know that I always make the best decisions I can with the information I have at the time. And yet… I regret not spending more time with Jan, and if I’d known then just how little time we’d have together, I would have done things differently. But I suppose that’s what death does to us. Continue Reading

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Will I be a foreigner in my home country?

foreign

Dean and I have been heating up our talks about emigrating. I think now that Harley finally has a birth certificate, the main hurdle to our moving has been passed. Now it’s just a matter of getting her passport sorted, finding work in the States and moving. Obviously there’s a lot of admin that will go along with it, but it’s mainly a thing of making lists and crossing things off. I’m excited for it, and I think it will be the best thing for our family, but I am worried about just how much it will feel like home.

I’m glad we aren’t looking to move back to New York City. It has changed so much from when I grew up there, I think it would be even more of a culture shock. Instead, we are leaning towards places in California – the lifestyle seems well suited to what Dean and I like, the school districts are fantastic and the weather won’t make either of us miserable. But the culture will still be very different, and I’m wondering if I will feel even more foreign. Continue Reading

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Musings on re-watching the Gilmore Girls

In the early 2000s, my mom and I fell in love with the Gilmore Girls. It was fast-paced, funny, gut-wrenching, and starred a mother-daughter team that we adored. I was about Rory’s age when the show originally aired, and I naturally identified with her. Plenty of the details were different, but the broad strokes felt similar. When it was announced that Netflix would be doing a mini-season of the show, I was incredibly excited. The characters had been so compelling, and it’s something that I think a variety of shows could do well with – we want to know what happened to those characters we knew and loved, but I’m not exactly prepared to jump into a whole series revival.

In anticipation of the show’s return, Netflix has all seven seasons of the Gilmore Girls available for binging. I avoided it for a while when it was added, but I’ve started watching it again, and I’m making pretty good progress. I’ve justified it as being good preparation for the new season; I want to make sure all the details are fresh in my head when the mini-season airs. But I think it’s been having a strange effect on me this time around. Continue Reading

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A gamer’s thoughts on screen time

I am a gamer, a geek, and a lover of all things tech and gadgetry. Before my little one came along, there was nothing more relaxing than a weekend spent chilling with Dean at home, each playing our video games of choice, perhaps binging on some series on Netflix. I’m often guilty of the second screen thing, too, where I’ll be watching TV or playing a game while simultaneously checking messages or social media on my phone or tablet. When it was just the two of us, I never really worried about it – sure, we’d lose ourselves in our virtual worlds, but Dean and I would also enjoy an evening sitting outside sharing a bottle of wine. We could dive deep into our screen time, but then also have fun cooking together, or going out to see friends, or travel off on a fun adventure.

Since Harley came along, I’m much more aware of screen time – not just hers, but also mine and Dean’s. She is 11 months old and figured out a while ago that grabbing for my phone would always get my attention. Granted, it’s a valuable device that I don’t want thrown on the floor, but I wonder if she also realizes how often I’m holding onto it and by grabbing it she is sure to be noticed. But it’s not about absolutes with me. I still love gaming, I still love series, and one day soon I hope for a VR headset of my own. It’s not that screen time is somehow inherently evil, but it certainly needs to be monitored. Continue Reading

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A pause at 11 months

11 months

Today, Harley is 11 months old. I honestly feel dumbfounded about it. I know time keeps marching on, I understand that the older we get, the faster time seems to move. And everyone warned me that having a baby makes time go even faster. I get all of that, and yet I simply can’t understand where the last 11 months have gone. How can Harley be so big already? How can so many months have passed?

It’s tempting to look at this milestone as almost a year. She is almost a year old, it’s been almost a year since she came into our lives… and yet, that somehow seems to undermine the impact of 11 months. It’s not quite a year, it’s something different. It’s something that still deserves a celebration, and moment to pause and look back on the time that’s elapsed and the time that’s ahead. I mean, after this milestone, I doubt I’ll be counting months anymore. From here on out, it will be years, and they will still go screaming past. So, here’s a break, a breather, to think about 11 months. Continue Reading

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