Browsing Category: Parenting

Being the bigger person, and its side effects

March 13, 2017 Zoe

Life isn’t fair. I often wish it was, and I try to be as fair as possible, but it seems that several times for week (and sometimes per day) I’m reminded just how unfair life is. The hardest working people don’t always get the promotion. The assholes don’t always get what’s coming to them and the kindest most generous people can get dread diseases or struck down in their prime. Even in our own relationships, things aren’t always (ever?) fair. Which is why we all teach our kids to be the bigger person, or at least, I hope other people are teaching their kids that, too.

I remember being taught it in some ways. Being taught not to stoop to other people’s levels, to take the higher path, to be the bigger person. If someone is a bully, don’t bully them back but rather understand where they’re coming from, assert yourself and then move on. Don’t hold a grudge or dwell on past slights, but move forward. It’s like that Michelle Obama quote, “When they go low, we go high”, and it’s an important lesson that applies to more than bullies, but just those who go low in general. But there’s a sad side effect of it, too. Continue Reading

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2 Comments Parenting, Rambling

“Be Careful” – a phrase I’m avoiding

March 8, 2017 Zoe

I have never broken a bone (knock on wood and all that). I haven’t even sprained an ankle or dislocated a shoulder. The closest I’ve come is jammed fingers from playing basketball in high school, which led me to quit the basketball team so that it wouldn’t get in the way of my piano playing. During a farm trip, I jumped off the hay loft, but only the lowest rung. As I got older, I enjoyed some thrill seeking behavior, but I was always very aware of risks and really rather careful. And it’s something I’m very aware of while raising Harley to be a confident, brave little girl.

Let’s be clear, though – I was very brave and confident when it came to intellectual or emotional pursuits. I had no issue raising my hand in class, even if I wasn’t 100% sure of my answer. I’d audition for lead roles in plays, jump at opportunities to do public speaking, and dive heart first into relationships. I wasn’t overly careful in those regards, but when it came to physical feats, I wasn’t even willing to hang upside down from the jungle bars on the playground. Part of that is because I was very aware of the risk of getting hurt, or embarrassing myself, and I wanted to stay safe instead. Now, as a parent, I’m trying to figure out the line between healthy risk taking and safety. Continue Reading

4 Comments Parenting

Brave Parenting Raising girls

Advice when starting nursery school

March 6, 2017 Zoe

Having Harley in nursery school has changed my life. For a few (surprisingly short) hours of the day, I have time to do the things I need to get done. Mostly, that’s work. But sometimes it can include a quick waxing appointment, some yoga, or writing some words here. She just goes for the mornings, and those mornings go by ridiculously quickly. But they still make a huge difference, and I’m so incredibly grateful for them. Nursery school is fantastic, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

When Harley started, she would cry. Like, a lot. Not just at drop off… she would scream and cry throughout the day. I was really wondering if it was just too traumatic for her, if I was making a horrible mistake. Every morning when I would drop her off and she would wail, I felt like the worst possible mother – not just because I would leave her while she was upset, but because I so desperately needed that time apart. I was filled with so much guilt, feeling like the worst mom on the planet. Now, things are way easier, so here are some things to keep in mind (and do) to make starting nursery school as easy as possible. Continue Reading

4 Comments Parenting

Parenting Work at Home Mom Working mom

Growing up in Zoe’s room

February 23, 2017 Zoe

When I was a very little girl, my mom was good friends with a woman named Diane Ponzio – they were childhood friends. I remember her teaching me singing when I was a kid, and she even wrote a song about me. It’s called Zoe’s Room, and it’s been in my head lately. When I drive around with Harley, I often sing to her, and it’s funny which songs come to mind. After a booking for our family to go to Greensleaves (a medieval restaurant experience), I kept singing the song Greensleaves in the car. Now, it’s Zoe’s Room that’s stuck on repeat in my head, and it’s making me smile and also think about my goals for Harley.

There doesn’t seem to be a video or anything of Diane singing the whole song, but I did find this extract so you can get the gist of it: Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting

Life goals Parenting Zoe's Room

Finding her appetite

February 22, 2017 Zoe

I have written about our journey with food a few times by now. I wrote when I was frustrated that people were pushing Harley to eat solids before it was time (and even a force feeding incident). I wrote about baby led weaning and why I think it is good for baby development. I even wrote about Harley eating some interesting stuff, but there is something I didn’t write about – my worry and fear since she turned one. You see, the mantra of baby led weaning is “food before one is for fun”, and it worked great. I never worried if Harley just played with her food, tried stuff but didn’t swallow or whatever else; before one year old she could rely on breastmilk as her main source of nutrition and I didn’t need to worry if she didn’t really eat most days. But since her first birthday, I’ve been concerned about her lack of appetite for real food, her lack of interest in it for the most part.

As much as I kept telling myself that baby led weaning was the right path for us, of course I doubted myself. I wondered if I should have been pushing food on her more, striving to get her to eat more than the occasional piece of rice cake or tiny shred of chicken, pork or lamb. She loved to play with food, but I feared that she wasn’t really eating, wasn’t really getting the nutrition. Her poo started changing (I know, gross, and too much info, but it’s the reality of food vs breastmilk) but I still didn’t believe that she was actually eating enough. Well, things have finally really changed, and it appears my tiny person is developing a healthy appetite. Continue Reading

3 Comments Food, Parenting

Baby led weaning Food Solids