Happy 1st Birthday, Harley

1st birthday

Today, my tiny little preemie princess turns one. ONE! How has a whole year gone by already? How is it already her 1st birthday?! It’s that usual conundrum of time moving so quickly when we look back, and yet feeling like it was standing still at times. Those first few months were so slow, so hard. She seemed to be in the hospital for ages, needing time to grow and become ready for the world. Then we got her home, and that was a whole new kind of hard. The days and weeks blurred together like a weird exhaustion-induced fever dream. And all of a sudden I’ve woken up and my little baby, my tiny princess is a year old.

I had so many plans for this post, for all the words that I wanted to write about Harley, about how far she has come, about what this year has been like. And yet, I’m finding myself just sitting here, listening to her breathe while she sleeps on my chest, feeling the weight of her tiny body against mine. This is the new normal, this is my life now – I am the safe place for a tiny person. I am her mommy and she is my baby and that is our life. Until she wakes up, of course, and then I become her jungle gym, food court and general entertainment system. 

If I think back, a year ago today was one of the most traumatic days of my life, but with the best possible ending. Harley and I survived, going on to bond and thrive and have an amazing year together. She is my little sidekick, my partner in crime, my monster, my monkey, my angel face. We have come so far, learned so much, and grown the deepest and purest kind of love.

So I can look back, you currently love pandas, crawling, exploring and clapping. You enjoy bath time because you get to splash, and you love playing peekaboo. You like chewing on your daddy’s smoke pouch and lighter, and you especially love power cables or wires of any kind. Your favorite foods are pork bangers, pork chops, fries and cauliflower. You love learning to swim and you are great at going underwater. You like road trips in your carseat, and your favorite place to nap is on mommy. Today, you will have your first ever cake, which mommy will bake for you (her second ever cake baking experience). And on Sunday we will have your 1st birthday party (with tons of pics and guides coming soon).

Today is Harley’s level up day. She is stronger, smarter, and even more adorable than she was a year ago. She has proven to be a fighter, to be powerful in mind and body, and to absolutely enthrall anyone who meets her. I am so excited to watch you continue to grow and change and become even more of who you are in the years to come.

Happy 1st birthday, Harley!


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