“Be Careful” – a phrase I’m avoiding

careful

I have never broken a bone (knock on wood and all that). I haven’t even sprained an ankle or dislocated a shoulder. The closest I’ve come is jammed fingers from playing basketball in high school, which led me to quit the basketball team so that it wouldn’t get in the way of my piano playing. During a farm trip, I jumped off the hay loft, but only the lowest rung. As I got older, I enjoyed some thrill seeking behavior, but I was always very aware of risks and really rather careful. And it’s something I’m very aware of while raising Harley to be a confident, brave little girl.

Let’s be clear, though – I was very brave and confident when it came to intellectual or emotional pursuits. I had no issue raising my hand in class, even if I wasn’t 100% sure of my answer. I’d audition for lead roles in plays, jump at opportunities to do public speaking, and dive heart first into relationships. I wasn’t overly careful in those regards, but when it came to physical feats, I wasn’t even willing to hang upside down from the jungle bars on the playground. Part of that is because I was very aware of the risk of getting hurt, or embarrassing myself, and I wanted to stay safe instead. Now, as a parent, I’m trying to figure out the line between healthy risk taking and safety. Continue Reading

4 Comments Parenting

Advice when starting nursery school

waldorf nursery school

Having Harley in nursery school has changed my life. For a few (surprisingly short) hours of the day, I have time to do the things I need to get done. Mostly, that’s work. But sometimes it can include a quick waxing appointment, some yoga, or writing some words here. She just goes for the mornings, and those mornings go by ridiculously quickly. But they still make a huge difference, and I’m so incredibly grateful for them. Nursery school is fantastic, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

When Harley started, she would cry. Like, a lot. Not just at drop off… she would scream and cry throughout the day. I was really wondering if it was just too traumatic for her, if I was making a horrible mistake. Every morning when I would drop her off and she would wail, I felt like the worst possible mother – not just because I would leave her while she was upset, but because I so desperately needed that time apart. I was filled with so much guilt, feeling like the worst mom on the planet. Now, things are way easier, so here are some things to keep in mind (and do) to make starting nursery school as easy as possible. Continue Reading

4 Comments Parenting

Carving out time

having no time means i'm a headless chicken

I hate when you ask someone how they are and they respond with “busy”. Which is why it grates me that I’ve sorta become one of those people. It’s not on purpose, I swear. I don’t mean it to minimize how busy other people might be, or to somehow glorify the idea that I’m so busy. It’s more an issue of time, and my severe lack of it. Time is such a precious resource, and I’m increasingly aware of how little of it I have each day. Between work, playing taxi service for the husband and kid, and then trying to still get done all the day to day life stuff (dishes, cooking dinner, etc) that needs doing, I feel like I really don’t have any time.

That said, I’ve continued with my daily yoga, going into my third month of it now. I really love the videos from Yoga with Adriene on YouTube, and she often talks about how hard it can be to just get on the mat, turn on the video, carving out time for yourself in the day. And yet, once I’m there, I love it, and I relax and focus and remember that I can always pick up my to-do list again when the video is over. So, in that same spirit, I’m trying to carve some time out of my day for something I’ve been struggling to find time for lately – blogging. I really wanted to connect with people more this year – it’s even one of my main goals for the year – but I feel like I’ve been dropping the ball when it came to blogging, so this is me, carving out the time in the day to write some words about what’s been going on, and making a commitment to continue to do so more often. Continue Reading

2 Comments Rambling

Growing up in Zoe’s room

Harley with busy board

When I was a very little girl, my mom was good friends with a woman named Diane Ponzio – they were childhood friends. I remember her teaching me singing when I was a kid, and she even wrote a song about me. It’s called Zoe’s Room, and it’s been in my head lately. When I drive around with Harley, I often sing to her, and it’s funny which songs come to mind. After a booking for our family to go to Greensleaves (a medieval restaurant experience), I kept singing the song Greensleaves in the car. Now, it’s Zoe’s Room that’s stuck on repeat in my head, and it’s making me smile and also think about my goals for Harley.

There doesn’t seem to be a video or anything of Diane singing the whole song, but I did find this extract so you can get the gist of it: Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting

Finding her appetite

appetite for cheerios

I have written about our journey with food a few times by now. I wrote when I was frustrated that people were pushing Harley to eat solids before it was time (and even a force feeding incident). I wrote about baby led weaning and why I think it is good for baby development. I even wrote about Harley eating some interesting stuff, but there is something I didn’t write about – my worry and fear since she turned one. You see, the mantra of baby led weaning is “food before one is for fun”, and it worked great. I never worried if Harley just played with her food, tried stuff but didn’t swallow or whatever else; before one year old she could rely on breastmilk as her main source of nutrition and I didn’t need to worry if she didn’t really eat most days. But since her first birthday, I’ve been concerned about her lack of appetite for real food, her lack of interest in it for the most part.

As much as I kept telling myself that baby led weaning was the right path for us, of course I doubted myself. I wondered if I should have been pushing food on her more, striving to get her to eat more than the occasional piece of rice cake or tiny shred of chicken, pork or lamb. She loved to play with food, but I feared that she wasn’t really eating, wasn’t really getting the nutrition. Her poo started changing (I know, gross, and too much info, but it’s the reality of food vs breastmilk) but I still didn’t believe that she was actually eating enough. Well, things have finally really changed, and it appears my tiny person is developing a healthy appetite. Continue Reading

3 Comments Food, Parenting