Reactions to starting nursery school/creche

You may have noticed that I haven’t posted in the last week or so. I’m sorry for my absence – I really have wanted to write but a number of things have conspired against me. My day job was absurdly busy, I had a day with power issues that led to internet issues, and I was so tired in the evenings that I actually just wanted to zone out while bingeing on something on Netflix. However, the biggest reason is because I wanted to write about Harley starting at her play school/nursery school/creche, but my feelings about it hadn’t quite settled into a form I could write about it. Now, they have, and i think it’s important to write about the various emotions that come from starting nursery school.

First up, I knew that I was sending Harley to a good place. Like, I really really knew it. I didn’t have reservations about the school – I had asked all my questions, and popped in for visits at random times of day, and I was impressed by the answers as well as by what I saw first hand. While that made things easier, that didn’t make things easy. Continue Reading

10 Comments Parenting, Rambling

Thoughts on a year of breastfeeding

Today is Harley’s original due date. It’s also a special kind of anniversary, the anniversary of when she finally started latching and stopped needing to be bottle fed expressed milk. So, while I was like a cow before this date, today marks a year with Harley on the boob, a year of breastfeeding. It’s been such a journey so far, and I have so many feelings about it all. While most of them are good, there is some negative stuff mixed in, too.

All the research says that breast is best. Before even talking about the emotional stuff, simply said breast milk is the best for a baby. It’s got all the nutrients she needs, lets her try all sorts of new flavors depending on what I eat, and helps with immunity and allergies. Plus, it’s free. I had no doubt that I wanted to nurse Harley, no doubt that she would be on the boob for a while. But how long did I think I would nurse? Probably about a  year. Now that she’s a year on the boob and almost 14 months old, I’m reassessing the age, but not as much as I would have thought a few months ago. Continue Reading

5 Comments Breast feeding, Parenting

Emigration: Happy to go, sad to leave

happy to go, sad to leave

Dean’s application is officially lodged with the consulate. It’s just the first step in the process (and I’ll write about it soon), but barring any unforeseen issues, it pretty much means that we are going this year. Green cards are strange that way – the application could take us anywhere from three to six months, but once it’s approved, we have six months to get to the States. It felt so final after we handed in that application, like we were really doing this. Maybe it was the ridiculous fee we had to pay (over $500 which isn’t a nice number converted into Rands), or maybe it was the guy explaining the timeline to us, or maybe it was simply doing the calendar math, but I realized just how short our time in South Africa is now, and I’m filling with so many feelings.

I think that hardest part is that our life here is good. It’s not like we’re in a terrible situation, struggling to get by or seeking to escape a war or conflict. We aren’t being persecuted, we aren’t even unhappy here. We have a home, a car, jobs we love, friends we adore… but it’s the other stuff, too. I know where to go for all the things we might want or need. I’m oriented in my city, I’m comfortable with the places I frequent, and everything feels incredibly familiar by now. Continue Reading

5 Comments Rambling, South Africa, USA

How to be an active citizen

active citizen

Citizenship has been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve been worrying about Harley’s South African citizenship, her American citizenship, wondering about emigrating despite Trump becoming president, and a whole host of other things. On the one hand, I’ve thought of citizenship as a privilege – I’m privileged to have an American passport that allows me to travel easily, something I notice more with a South African husband. However, with today being inauguration day, I want to talk a little bit about citizenship as a responsibility, and how each of us can be an active citizen.

Whenever election day rolls around, either here in South Africa or in the States, I make a pretty big deal of it. I make sure Dean votes (not that he needs me to do so, but still), and I’m sure to vote as well. Voting is important. It’s the most obvious statement of your opinion in the democratic system, and it’s vital to a state being legitimate and focused on the needs of the people. I actually really like countries that make voting easy for citizens, whether with a public holiday or plenty of advanced voting, along with some sort of mandatory voting system. If you are a citizen, you should be required to take part in the governance of your country. But there is so much more that goes into being an active citizen. Continue Reading

Comment Rambling, South Africa, USA

You know you’re a good mom if…

good mom

I wrote recently about wishing that I’d been more confident when Harley came home. Not about how to do things, that comes with time, but more that I wish I’d had the confidence to know that I’m the best mommy for Harley, that I’m doing the right things for her and that I really do know what’s best for her (at least for now). While part of that comes with time and experience, it’s also aided or hampered by the people around me – just having people I know and trust tell me how they see I’m a good mom makes me feel more confident. Contrarily, when people question my decisions or outright undermine them, it can make me wonder if I’m a good mom or if they’re right. I’ve heard many people talk about signs that you’re a good or a bad mom, and I thought I’d throw my two cents in (or maybe a bit more).

It’s hard to know if you’re a good mom, mostly because everything we do as parents is so long term. Sure, your kid might thrive developmentally, or might show signs of being well adjusted, but you just won’t know how you did as a parent until months, years or decades down the line. There are some things you can pick up on along the way, and hopefully these help you when you have those moments of doubt. Or, at least I’ll have a post to come back and read when something makes me wonder it for myself. You know you’re a good mom if… Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting