2016 – the year that was

Even though it feels like it went by in a flash, so much happened in 2016. I’ve seen a thing going around on Facebook that I might steal. It involved getting a big jar at the start of the year, and each week (or even whenever moments come up), writing down a moment that made me happy or proud or grateful. At the end of the year, I’ll be able to empty the jar and read all the awesome stuff that happened. Definitely sounds like a lovely concept… I just need to get a jar/box/vessel for the cool comments. Since I didn’t do that, though, I’m going to blatantly steal this list of 10 questions from Forbes. But why, I hear you ask.

So many people like to talk about the year that was and predict the year that will be. While often this seems self-indulgent somehow, I do think it also helps to reflect on what went right and wrong over the course of the year in the hopes of improving things, or at least making new mistakes, in the new year. So, here goes – the 10 questions that help me assess the year that was and the year that will be. Continue Reading

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Thoughts on the night before Christmas 2016

I’ve been wanting to write some words all day. I haven’t been writing much the last few days, enjoying my time on leave instead. I’ve been playing Stardew Valley, Watch Dogs 2 and finishing up some odds and ends of Final Fantasy XV, as well as watching The Crown on Netflix. I’ve also been playing with my kid, running errands and finally sorting out her American citizenship (which I promise I will write about soon). It’s been a lovely time away from work, time in my own head, and time with two of the people who mean the most to me in the whole world. I’ve been thinking a lot though as we head into this holiday, about where we are and where we are going. I recently wrote a post about what I’m thankful for, so that’s not exactly what I want to do here, but I’ve been struggling to put my thoughts into a discernible order. So, instead of putting them into order, here they are in all their chaotic beauty.

My heart is heavy when I think about the world at the moment. Whether you believe the story of the nativity is truth, or a parable, it feels rather important at the moment. Mary and Joseph were fleeing persecution, and no one would let them in. Finally, a kind person let them into their barn, where Mary ended up giving birth. It’s a story that is meant to remind us that even in our darkest moments, light can come into the world. That even the most poor and desperate people can bring something beyond value into this world. It’s a reminder during the dark days of the Winter Solstice (which feels odd when we celebrate down here in South Africa seeing as it’s summer) that light and warmth and goodness can return to the world. Continue Reading

Comment Geek, Marriage, Parenting, Rambling

What are your non-negotiables?

non-negotiables

Most of life, and particularly parenting, feels like a negotiating process. We adjust the rules to fit our lives, allowing our kids to do some things that might have surprised an earlier version of ourselves. People who despise pacifiers grow to love them, and then hate them again. People who don’t believe in thumb sucking finally decide it’s not worth the fight and maybe just end up paying for braces down the line. I try to keep Harley from playing with pens or climbing on tables, but I’ve given up on trying to keep her from eating her food off the floor. Most everything is up for discussion or flexibility, but not quite everything. There are some things that simply aren’t up for debate, that aren’t negotiable, and I’m wondering what are your non-negotiables.

For me, it comes down to safety. I mean, life and death sorta safety. I think Mandy from Pregnant in Cape Town put it best when she wrote about carseats for the first time, saying is the alternative your child dying? If your kid wants to wear a weird outfit to school or eat breakfast for dinner, I doubt they will die from it. But failing to strap your munchkin into a carseat? It really is a matter of life and death, even in a low-speed collision. Scary, scary stuff. Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting

Is my baby a toddler?

is my baby a toddler

I’ve sort of gotten used to being a mom of a baby. I mean, as used to it as you can get – I’m tired a lot, and so much busier than I ever imagined, but I sort of have it figured out. But the rules are changing and I can feel it; Harley is growing up so fast, and as I watch her pull herself up to standing, I’ve been wondering… is my baby a toddler? Where do you draw that line?

From what I’ve read online, everyone has their own definition. Some people say that a baby becomes a toddler once they can walk. Others say it’s from when they are a year old. Others give you until the baby is 18 months. And while Harley will always be MY baby, I’m not too sure that she’s actually a baby anymore. I think she’s a toddler. Continue Reading

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Changing how I see myself, or at least trying

This past Saturday, Dean, Harley and I did a photo shoot. Dean had asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said that I wanted a family photoshoot. I know he hates when we take pictures, he hates that sort of public flaunting of our life, love, happiness. But, because he is always willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy, he said cool. I found an amazing photographer who not only has a great eye, but also was willing to do a shoot that was a bit different to what you see usually in family photoshoots. If you’re looking for an amazingly reasonably priced photographer who is also a lovely human, I can’t recommend Meg highly enough. Seriously – go check her out.

Anyway, I got the photos from her that evening (yes, her turn around time was incredible) and I adored them. But I also did the usual thing that I think all women (and plenty of men) do. I didn’t see the gorgeous smiles, the pure love and joy. No, I saw the shots where I had an extra chin, where I looked fat, where i didn’t like my teeth or my skin or whatever else. I was so negative, not about the photos, but about myself. But then I had a revelation and I am changing how I see myself. Continue Reading

10 Comments Breast feeding, Parenting, Rambling