6-7 ways I’ve changed in the past 7.5 months

Mandela Day

It’s Mandela Day here in South Africa, a day when we’re all encouraged to spend 67 minutes to help make South Africa and the world a better place. I will be striving to do that for the next 67 DAYS as a part of #CarseatFullstop, so while it would obviously be great to go volunteer my time somewhere, at least I sort of feel like I’m making a difference. So instead, for Mandela Day, I want to look at the 6 or 7 ways my life has changed since Harley came into this world. Continue Reading

1 Comment Marriage, Parenting, South Africa

Why I’m a part of #CarseatFullstop

#carseatfullstop

In the same way that I hate being told what to do, I hate telling other people what to do. Parenting is hard enough without people making judgements about our parenting choices. BUT, there is one notable exception, and that’s when it comes to a child’s safety. If you choose to feed your kid from the boob or with formula, I don’t care because either way your little one is getting fed. If you choose to have a nanny or send your kid to creche, that’s also your choice and I have nothing to add to the conversation. However, if a child is in danger, we all have a responsibility to speak up.

The world is full of scary things. I recently saw a video where a little one was almost snatched, just a couple steps away from her mom, or how about the recent uproar about the Stanford rape case? Babies can get sick and end up in the NICU, a place I hope Harley never ends up in again. Sometimes, there’s nothing we can do to prevent the horrors – it comes down to luck. However, when you get in a car, there is something you can do to protect your precious cargo, and a frighteningly small percentage of parents do it. Continue Reading

7 Comments Rambling, South Africa

How this mommy and baby class saved me and Harley

Toptots

With Harley now seven months old, I have enough distance from those early weeks and months to look back with some perspective. I’ve written about how traumatic her birth experience was, but even then I didn’t realize how traumatic it was and how hard it was going to make things with her. I was sick, she was so very premature, and we had quite a road ahead of us. I struggled to bond with her, I felt like everything was just so hard, and I was even resenting her. It was NOT good.

Luckily, while still pregnant, I had already decided that I wanted to try and find a nice mommy and baby class to attend once she was born. There are so many out there, so I wasn’t quite sure which one I’d go for. But I chatted to Geoff, my editor at Lazygamer, and his wife used to own a TOPTOTS franchise, so I decided to give them a whirl. It turns out, that was one of the best decisions I’ve made in the first six months of Harley’s life. Continue Reading

4 Comments Child Development, Parenting, South Africa, Sponsored

Attachment parenting and the most important year

attachment parenting

I can’t stress enough how lucky I am. Sure, I have plenty of ups and downs and real life and troubles like everyone else, but I am incredibly lucky – I work from home. While it’s a lot of hard work, and I’ve struggled to find a balance at times, it has meant that I’ve been able to work and take care of Harley at the same time. She hasn’t needed a nanny or a creche; I have been her primary caretaker, her teacher, her entertainment, her jungle gym, her bed, her food source, so in a word – her mommy.

It hasn’t been easy, and I often felt like I was failing. Especially when Harley was even smaller than she is now, I wondered if it was enough to just hold her during the day while I worked, I would get frustrated when I didn’t know what was wrong or when I felt like I couldn’t help her. It’s gotten so much easier as she has gotten bigger and easier to understand, and a big part of that is because we both know that I can take care of her, even when I’m not totally sure how. But the more I read about attachment parenting, the more it sounds like what I’ve done with Harley naturally, and will continue to do cognizantly. Continue Reading

9 Comments Parenting

Unexpected sources of inspiration

Inspiration is a strange thing. Some people and things inspire us to be better humans, better parents, better workers… and while I typically know some things that can inspire me, I love being surprised at those things that bring out that magical spark in me. That is sort of the purpose of art, isn’t it? To reflect a part of ourselves or our society back at us, make us reassess who or what we are, and inspire us to become better versions of those things. Well, this most recent inspiration that I experienced came in a totally unlikely place.

You see, since starting this blog, I’ve started to be invited to events that aren’t just for gaming or tech. Not to downplay gaming or tech events – they are fun and often incredibly beautiful. But they feel extremely PR-oriented. They are built to make the journalists and blogggers in attendance take pictures of the pretty things and share on social media, to promote the brand. And while the people who work for those brands are often awesome and wonderful, the goal of their events is rarely to help connect people or make us feel special or important. But this mommy blogger event… it was very different. Continue Reading

Comment Rambling