Before I knew if I was having a little boy or a little girl, I had two dreams. In both of them, Harley was already born and a girl. I still wasn’t sure if I was growing a boy or a girl, but the dreams were interesting and when it turned out she was a girl after all, it was a cute little story to tell. Last night, I had another dream, and it wasn’t such a cute story.
I had a horrible nightmare last night, one that was probably born of my fears and insecurities. Basically, Harley was already born, and was sleeping with me and Dean in the bed. I woke up to find her dead. Actually, she didn’t look dead in my dream, she looked like a creepy, battered doll, but I kept crying in the dream that my baby was dead. Then I woke up with stiff fingers and a sore heart to my alarm clock all too early.