I recently heard the phrase “dance with the fear” in relation to startups and other new ventures. The woman on a podcast was talking about how jumping into a new venture can be scary and you have to embrace that fear while letting other people believe in you even if you can’t believe in yourself. I nearly started crying in the car – screw startups or business, that was a perfectly apt explanation of motherhood. As Mother’s Day draws closer, I’m inevitably thinking about what it means – being a mom, making the journey into motherhood.
Then, on a TV show that I enjoy, a woman was rushed into an emergency c-section. It was a matter of life and death, and then her baby was born and I sobbed. Then the baby gave her first cry and I sobbed some more. I was holding Harley on my lap while watching TV (she was busy playing with her shoes, as is her way lately), and I was telling her that was how she was born. I couldn’t help myself, kissing and hugging her while sobbing watching a stupid TV series. Motherhood is complicated. It’s hard and lonely and absolutely terrifying. And that’s with a loving husband, supportive family and friends and the good fortune to afford all the things I needed during birth and those early days especially.