Tag Archives: South Africa

Being pregnant in Africa is sort of wonderful

When I first fell pregnant, a bunch of people asked me where I was planning to have the baby. Um, here? I guess people thought I’d feel more comfortable returning to America to deliver Harley. It’s weird, but I guess the stereotype that deep dark Africa is still a scary place or something and I’d prefer to have the kid in the safety of my home soil. If only people realized just how nice the local hospitals are, and just how comfy I am at home. Plus, haven’t people realized yet that healthcare in SA is sorta awesome and healthcare in the US is sorta unaffordable? At least here I have medical aid, plus the knowledge that I’ll be surrounded by awesome nurses and healthcare professionals who will make sure I’m okay?

Anyway, it got me thinking about other differences. I remember growing up in New York, my mom taught me to always give up my seat on a crowded bus or subway if a pregnant woman got on, and I always did. But there were plenty of times I saw pregnant women forced to stand because no one gave up their seat and I didn’t have one to give. Or carrying heavy groceries. Or suffering in the ridiculously heat. And it makes me incredibly grateful to be living in South Africa while pregnant, and even excited to be having the kid here. Continue Reading

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Why I won’t have a baby registry after all

A few weeks back, I wrote about my discomfort with the idea of a baby registry. It felt like begging to me and I worried that friends and family would think I was expecting them to pay for mine and Dean’s decision to procreate. However, thanks to some awesome feedback from people who read my words, I decided that it wasn’t begging, but simply a guideline for those who want to buy presents for my little munchkin. It is rather fun to buy baby stuff, and people like to feel helpful, so why not tell them what I want and need for those who are unsure of what I might want. I stressed to Stacey (probably way more than I needed to, but hopefully she knows I’m pregnant and apparently need to say things a million times) that I want the invite to say that while gifts are appreciated, they really are not required at all; I don’t want anyone to feel like an invite to the baby shower is actually me trying to dip into their pockets.

So, prepared to shop for all the fun stuff, Stacey and I set to work making a baby shower. WHAT. A. MISSION! We had already ruled out Baby City because they only allow you to make a registry close to the shower date, plus none of it ends up online so you actually have to go to the specific store where the registry was done and rummage in the registry bin. Instead, we went to another major baby outlet, and then another, and then another. Almost all of them let you register, but almost none of them have sites that list all the products that they actually stock. For example, on the Babies R Us registry, i could find a manual AVENT breast pump, but not an electric one. And I could find one model of Angel Care monitor, but not the one I actually wanted. All this despite the fact that I’ve SEEN the ones I wanted in the actual stores. Continue Reading

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Why my baby will be “alternative”

I am open to whoever Harley turns out to be. If she wants to wear pink and play with barbies, or wear jeans and converse and play in the mud, or even wear her pink dress in the mud as compared to staying clean inside in her overalls while reading a book – whatever this little child wants to do with herself is pretty cool with me. However, I have some alternative ideas about how I want to dress her as a baby, and the sorts of things I want at her baby shower. It’s all part of my grand plan.

For the first few months of the baby’s life, people will relate to her based on how she looks. She won’t be able to express herself and will instead be assumed to have traits depending on what she wears, her toys and whatever random stuff she decides she needs to carry around everywhere. However, the interactions with adults that she has at this stage are integral to her development; the words she hears, the tones and facial expressions will all help her understand the world around her. If she is dressed only in typical baby clothes, people will respond to her as a typical baby. However, by dressing her in fun and outrageous clothing, people will be far more likely to use higher level vocabulary when talking to her, as well as laugh a whole lot more – which is great for her development. Continue Reading

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Forever foreign

I love South Africa. I love my South African husband, I love my home (although I definitely want to get a bigger house ASAP), I love my cats and I love my day to day life here. It was a choice we made to settle in Joburg, and despite the ridiculous Rand/Dollar exchange rate, I’m still feeling like it was a good decision to make.

Of course, it isn’t always easy. I’m not just talking about cultural differences or contexts that I’m still discovering after seven years here. Those are mostly entertaining or interesting for me, and a whole load of fun. No, I’m talking about how this country continues to make me feel like a stranger in a strange land.

Dean and I got married in Community of Property. I know, I know, that was probably some fatal mistake and all of you will now think I’m an idiot. But, from when we started dating, we always just took care of each other. If he had money, he’d stock my fridge and when I had cash I’d restock his. We’d take turns buying each other drinks or dinners and it was generally just a balanced exchange without really needing to talk about it. When I decided to move to South Africa to be with him, he wanted for everything to be shared, giving me full powers on his bank account and we always treated our money as just that – OUR money. Continue Reading

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