Tag Archives: South Africa

A day of reconciliation about my staggered entry into motherhood

Today, South Africa marks its Day of Reconciliation. It’s all about reconciling differences and working towards national unity. However, for me, I’ve been more consumed with trying to reconcile different aspects of myself, of what I’ve gone through, and of what this all means for the future. I knew that parenthood would mean that nothing goes according to plan, but it feels like something more than that at the moment.

Thus far, being a good mother has meant different things than I thought it would. At this point, I should still be pregnant, with being a good mom pretty much meaning that I would be taking care of myself, maybe playing music for Harley or talking to her, and getting all my things in order to prepare for her arrival – stuff like buying a cot and a car seat and all the rest. Instead, she is already out of my body but not in my home, and my role as her mother is a bit different than I’d planned. Continue Reading

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5 Comments Parenting, Premie, South Africa

I survived the Mamma Magic expo… barely

I’ve never been one of those people to go to every expo that comes to town. I didn’t go to a wedding one when Dean and I got engaged, and I’ve only been to the pet expo once. The only repeat expo experiences I’ve had were for rAge and Sexpo, and I wouldn’t attend the latter if it weren’t hilariously funny for work. But Mamma Magic came to town and I went to see what was on offer.

I’m incredibly glad I went during the week. Sure, it meant that I didn’t get to write yesterday, but it was way better to go on a “quieter” day. Even though most people were working or busy when I went, it was still a mad house – I can’t even imagine what that place will be like tomorrow. So, what made it worthwhile for me? Continue Reading

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1 Comment Pregnancy, South Africa

Why we aren’t talking about emigrating

In many ways, being a foreigner in South Africa sucks. I’m sure it sucks anywhere in the world, but here is it rather frustrating. I have to just keep waiting for Home Affairs to grant me permanent residency, and until then Dean and I can’t buy a new house. It’s irritating. No, it’s beyond irritating. However, being foreign does have one big benefit – we can pick and move any time we like. It’s just a matter of getting on a plane and we can leave the country without crazy visas and applications. That doesn’t mean we want to do that, though. Emigrating may be an option, but it’s not one we’re thinking about.

Recently, a lot of people have been asking me why Dean and I are still living in South Africa when we could so easily move away. SA is going through a whole bunch of controversy, from the #FeesMustFall protests to the ever tumbling Rand exchange rate, the gravy plane, the issues with the ICC… the list seems sorta unending. People ask why anyone would CHOOSE to live here if they had the option to move overseas, and particularly why we would want to raise our future offspring here. Continue Reading

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3 Comments South Africa

My job? Mommy/curator of the world

When I started this blogging journey, I sort of promised myself that I would write every day of the week, unless work was chaos or I was traveling or something. There will always be a reason not to write, but by sticking to writing every day, I make sure I really look at what I’m thinking and feeling at any given point on this journey. Pregnancy isn’t easy, and I’m sure parenting won’t be, either. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse to not stay in touch with myself (and with all of you who read my words). Yesterday, though, I didn’t write, and here’s why.

I’m working hard on finding a balance between speaking my mind and also just keeping quiet. I have many feelings about what’s going on in this country, but I also know that no matter how much South Africa feels like home, I will always be a foreigner. I will always have a different perspective on all of this because I didn’t grow up here, I wasn’t raised with the same cultural baggage – I come with my own. Harley will be raised here, but hopefully she’ll at least be raised to see things from many different perspectives… but it’s still making me think a lot of about the way things have “always” been done. Continue Reading

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5 Comments Parenting, South Africa

South Africa and the privilege of casual racism

It was only a few days ago that I talked about how much I adore being pregnant in South Africa. People here LOVE pregnant ladies in a way I haven’t seen in other parts of the world. Everyone has been so warm towards me and the random acts of kindness can bring a tear to my eye (even when I’m not hormonal). But there is another side to things, one that will be much more apparent once Harley is born, and recent current events are making me even more cognizant of the issues.

I was incredibly lucky growing up. I mean that in many ways, but for the sake of this post I’m looking at two specific things. First of all, I grew up with privilege – I lived in New York City, attended private school, went to summer camp and generally lived that “privileged” middle class life that people love to moan about. On the other hand, I was also raised by a mom who wanted to ensure that I grew up in a multicultural environment. I didn’t even understand the concept of race until I was already beyond the point of being a child, and the idea of racism truly never made sense to me. I went to schools where my friends came from a variety of racial, religious and even alternative backgrounds (even back in those days, I had a classmate with two mommies) and it was only once I moved overseas that I started to see and experience discrimination in a new way. I’d like for Harley to have a similar upbringing, but I’m not sure how possible that is in South Africa. Continue Reading

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4 Comments Parenting, South Africa