Harley is now five months old. It’s hard to believe that five months ago, Harley entered this world and I became a mom. It still makes me so sad to think about how it happened – it was so traumatic, not just for me and for her, but for everyone who loves us and was so worried about us. Having my mom here, I realize just how hard it was for her, too. But also, I see how much my life has changed, how happy I am in new ways, and how amazing it is to watch this little life grow up before my eyes.
Every day, Harley seems to master a new skill. From one day to the next, she’ll go from showing no interest in her toy to all of a sudden being enthralled by the look and sound of it. She has discovered her hands, and thanks to starting teething she loves shoving them in her mouth. She loves to smile, often giving me a huge grin when I take her out of her cot in the morning, or pausing from nursing in order to smile up at me. I’m no longer wondering if she knows who I am or likes me – those huge grins are proof enough that we are both madly in love with each other.
And that’s the most incredible part for me. Every day, I fall more in love with her. It’s not to say that it’s easy. Just like love in a relationship, there are good days and bad days. But I love knowing that I’m her safe place. It’s a huge responsibility, but it also makes my heart swell. There are times when she is hysterical crying, and no matter what other people do, she just keeps on being upset. But then she is placed in my arms, and she calms down and even smiles at me. I didn’t have a baby to feel needed, but that complete love and trust from a creature who is so new and innocent… it’s an incredible feeling. She knows that I will take care of her. She knows that I will do everything I can to make everything all better.
We are also having such fun together now. She loves to babble away, seemingly talking and chiming in on the conversation. It is far too cute to hear her various gurgling noises as she learns to use her vocal chords. She is also becoming stronger and stronger, loving to sit (with our help) or stand instead of lie down. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s able to sit on her own soon. She can also lift herself so nicely during tummy time, trying to kick her legs at the same time. She definitely wants to be mobile ASAP, and she adores her walking ring. It will be interesting to watch her progression and see when she learns to sit, crawl and stand because she loves anything physical. In particular, she is happiest when we play with her little feet. Combine that with music, and it’s a surefire way to keep her entertained and happy. I keep wondering if it’s a sign that she’ll be a dancer or something, or if she’s just a fan of the rhythm of music and the sensations felt through her feet.
Best of all, I love seeing her personality emerge. She has clear preferences for things. She wants to be upright. She wants to be held a certain way. She wants to babble and have responses. She likes to be sung to, or have books read to her, or watch her parents play video games, or watch cartoons. She enjoys car trips and riding in her pram. She likes to sit on my desk and play with her toys while I work (at least for a little while). And she loves her cuddles while nursing. She doesn’t like to go to sleep, and almost always fights it unless she falls asleep on the boob. She doesn’t like the sun in her eyes, and she’s not a big fan of bath time. Sometimes she likes having her clothes changed, other times she screams the whole time. She knows her mommy and her daddy, and she loves them both.
My little princess is five months old. Where does the time go?