The hardest thing I’ve done so far? Coming home…

So, I was obviously really sick when I had Harley. I could have died, it was really dire and incredibly scary. Eventually, though, they were ready to release me and send me home to continue my recovery. I was so excited to get out of the hospital, to come home and be with my wonderful husband. I wanted to see my cats, to sleep in my own bed, to have my own TV and internet, to watch Netflix and play games.

I was ready to get out of the hospital, despite not being 100% better yet. It was time to leave that room in the maternity ward, escape from the less than fantastic hospital food and all the rest. Unfortunately, there was one other thing that I’d be leaving behind, and that part was rather hard – I would be coming home from the hospital, but Harley wouldn’t be yet. Continue Reading

10 Comments Parenting, Premie

Eclampsia and Emergency

In the kitchen, there is one tool that I would never want to own or use, no matter how cool I think it is in theory. I’m not afraid of knives or food processors or whatnot, but I have never owned a pressure cooker, and I don’t even like going into other people’s kitchens when they use one. They creep me out and make me anxious – I’m always afraid that they’re going to burst or something, no matter how safe everyone always tells me that they are. Well, it seems that we can’t avoid those things we might like to; last week, my heart became a pressure cooker.

I am still only finding out about the story as time goes by, so I’m not 100% sure of what happened, but here’s the stuff I do know for now. It’s been quite an emotional time for me, and every time I talk about it, I well up with tears. The same will probably happen as I write these words, but if it can help just one person, it’s worthwhile. Continue Reading

28 Comments Marriage, Preeclampsia, Pregnancy

Being pregnant almost ruined my baby shower

I have been looking forward to my baby shower for a while now. Stacey was organizing it for me, and it’s about the closest I’ll ever get to having a surprise party – something I’ve always wanted. I knew the date, and I gave her the guest list, but I didn’t know who had RSVPed and I didn’t know any of the activities or ideas she had planned. I knew it would be fun, though, and I was amped to see the people I like and celebrate the imminent arrival of Princess Harley.

I will write all about the baby shower soon, because it really was a wonderful day. However, this isn’t about how rad the baby shower was, or all the cool things that happened. This is about how being pregnant sucks and can get in the way of even the best moments. Continue Reading

1 Comment Pregnancy

I survived the Mamma Magic expo… barely

I’ve never been one of those people to go to every expo that comes to town. I didn’t go to a wedding one when Dean and I got engaged, and I’ve only been to the pet expo once. The only repeat expo experiences I’ve had were for rAge and Sexpo, and I wouldn’t attend the latter if it weren’t hilariously funny for work. But Mamma Magic came to town and I went to see what was on offer.

I’m incredibly glad I went during the week. Sure, it meant that I didn’t get to write yesterday, but it was way better to go on a “quieter” day. Even though most people were working or busy when I went, it was still a mad house – I can’t even imagine what that place will be like tomorrow. So, what made it worthwhile for me? Continue Reading

1 Comment Pregnancy, South Africa

Self-censorship, podcasts and personas

Self-censorship is an intriguing thing. It’s not the same as being told that you aren’t allowed to say something, but it’s realizing that what you are about to say or do could have some unpleasant implications and therefore changing what you were going to say or do. It’s sort of different to tact in a way, but it raises some interesting follow up questions.

It’s all well and good to say that people should be honest and true to themselves, but when this can have personal and professional implications, self-censorship is often imposed. Just how much of my work life will I share here? And even though I’m sharing some of my most intimate moments with all of you as I go through pregnancy, marriage and eventual parenthood, I do sometimes wonder exactly how much I want to share and which parts of my life are better kept private. Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting