All posts by Zoe

Our Cape Town holiday was one of my best vacations

May 3, 2017 Zoe

Dean and I just got back from the most amazing trip to Cape Town. It was all part of my grand plan. I figured that before we emigrate, I should see Cape Town, especially seeing as everyone raves about it as their favorite city in South Africa. In fact, before I ever met Dean, I was planning to do a trip around the world and the only city I really wanted to visit in South Africa was Cape Town. In the almost ten years I’ve lived here, I’ve visited most of the urban centers and national parks, but had missed out on the Mother City… until now. And wow, what a trip!

There are so many things that made this a fantastic holiday. We saw incredible sites, tasted so much deliciousness, saw people we love and also simply reveled in each other’s company. It was everything a vacation should be, and definitely a destination that I would love to revisit in the future. For sure when we come back to South Africa when Harley (and maybe one day, baby #2) is older to visit, I’d want to return to Cape Town. I really tried hard to chronical this trip more than usual – friends always laugh at me and Dean because we will go places and come home without a single picture. So I tried my best to take more pictures – I don’t think any of them will do our trip justice, though. Continue Reading

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9 Comments Rambling, South Africa

Some emigration logistics to think through

April 20, 2017 Zoe

Often, this blog serves as a place for me to think my way through parenting feelings, emotional debates, and general epiphanies. But you know what, it’s also my place on the internet to explore what I’m going through and what’s occupying space in my head, even if it’s not emotional, parenting related or deep and meaningful. At the moment, I’m thinking a lot about our goal to emigrate. It is definitely taking shape – Dean’s medical is complete, which means we just need to finish off some last forms and then go for his interview and we should hopefully maybe almost be done with the bureaucratic hurdles (more on all of that once they’re done, I promise). Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean we are at the finish line just yet – there is still all manner of logistics to sort out before we can get on that plane.

It’s been funny as we plan our move what people have asked if we’ve considered. On the one hand, I like to think that Dean and I have thought our way through most everything, but I’m sure there are some things we haven’t gotten to yet. My goal is that once Dean’s Green Card is officially approved, we will move within six weeks. That means a lot of the planning and thinking has to happen now, so we can just set everything in motion when the time comes. If you’re planning to emigrate, here are some logistics you might need to consider. Continue Reading

3 Comments South Africa, USA

Emigration Moving logistics Sponsored

Motherhood is dancing with the fear

April 18, 2017 Zoe

I recently heard the phrase “dance with the fear” in relation to startups and other new ventures. The woman on a podcast was talking about how jumping into a new venture can be scary and you have to embrace that fear while letting other people believe in you even if you can’t believe in yourself. I nearly started crying in the car – screw startups or business, that was a perfectly apt explanation of motherhood. As Mother’s Day draws closer, I’m inevitably thinking about what it means – being a mom, making the journey into motherhood.

Then, on a TV show that I enjoy, a woman was rushed into an emergency c-section. It was a matter of life and death, and then her baby was born and I sobbed. Then the baby gave her first cry and I sobbed some more. I was holding Harley on my lap while watching TV (she was busy playing with her shoes, as is her way lately), and I was telling her that was how she was born. I couldn’t help myself, kissing and hugging her while sobbing watching a stupid TV series. Motherhood is complicated. It’s hard and lonely and absolutely terrifying. And that’s with a loving husband, supportive family and friends and the good fortune to afford all the things I needed during birth and those early days especially.

7 Comments Parenting, Sponsored

Fear and Loneliness Motherhood Sponsored

Everyone should watch these sexual harassment PSAs

April 10, 2017 Zoe

Public Service Announcements (or PSAs) are strange things. Some of them have been so tone deaf over the years, using weird imagery and language while trying to push kids to just say no to drugs or avoid the perils of teen sex. I still remember a PSA I saw as a kid about someone stealing condoms because they were too shy to buy them, with the messaging that if you aren’t mature enough to buy condoms, you aren’t mature enough to cope with the reality of sex. This latest batch of PSAs deal with sexual harassment, and they hit a little too close to home for me.

So often, sexual harassment and assault is depicted as strangers jumping out of bushes to flash people, or gross lecherous men groping teenagers on the subway. The reality of sexual harassment is much more nuanced. It’s usually from someone you know, perhaps in the workplace or from someone in a position of power. It is still harassment, and in a way even more insidious. David Schwimmer helped produce these new PSAs and they are well written, acted and filmed, and showcase some real star power as well. Here are a few that resonated with me. Continue Reading

Comment Rambling

Feminism sexual harassment video

Mom guilt is real and can strike at any time

April 5, 2017 Zoe

I’ve seen so much about mom guilt, and while I can laugh at the cartoons about it or joke about how it’s a lose-lose situation for women, in the moment it can still feel crippling. I’d define it as the duality of motherhood – on the one hand you love your child and want to do any and everything for them, and on the other hand you also want to be a person and still feel like your own human being. This can be compounded if you also work, adding the dimension of feeling like a terrible employee whenever you devote time to your kid and vice versa. And I felt it acutely on Monday night.

Thanks to Harley being sick and staying home from school for a few days, I’d spent a lot of time with her lately. I mean, I always spend a lot of time with her, obviously, but even more so thanks to her having been sick. It was wonderful to know how much she loves me, that she feels safe with me and just wanted to be close to me all day every day while she was ill. Of course, that also meant that I was tired and worn out and seriously struggling to get my work done. Continue Reading

3 Comments Parenting, Rambling