Browsing Category: Marriage

Eclampsia and Emergency

December 10, 2015 Zoe

In the kitchen, there is one tool that I would never want to own or use, no matter how cool I think it is in theory. I’m not afraid of knives or food processors or whatnot, but I have never owned a pressure cooker, and I don’t even like going into other people’s kitchens when they use one. They creep me out and make me anxious – I’m always afraid that they’re going to burst or something, no matter how safe everyone always tells me that they are. Well, it seems that we can’t avoid those things we might like to; last week, my heart became a pressure cooker.

I am still only finding out about the story as time goes by, so I’m not 100% sure of what happened, but here’s the stuff I do know for now. It’s been quite an emotional time for me, and every time I talk about it, I well up with tears. The same will probably happen as I write these words, but if it can help just one person, it’s worthwhile. Continue Reading

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28 Comments Marriage, Preeclampsia, Pregnancy

My rock and my edema

October 19, 2015 Zoe

I know plenty of people who take their engagement rings and/or wedding rings off whenever they do dishes, put on moisturizer or whatever. I’ve even been told that it’s better to do so because it keeps your jewelry in better shape and helps avoid scratches, dulling and other issues. I’ve never been one of those people, though. From the time that Dean got down on one knee and asked me to marry him until now, I’ve only taken the ring off a handful of times. Since we exchanged vows and said “I do”, I can remember a single time I took my rings off (for cleaning). The rings and what they mean feel like part of me, so why would I ever want to take them off? Well, now I might not have much of a choice.

I am currently experiencing the joys of pregnancy edema. Like everything else awful that can happen during pregnancy, it’s totally normal. Basically, it just means that my feet swell up by the end of the day and I have to keep them elevated and drink plenty of water to try to keep the water retention at a minimum. However, the stiffness I was experiencing in my hands seems to be getting slowly worse, with my hands are starting to swell. Again, all totally normal and harmless, but it’s gotten to a bit of a sorry state. My fingers are now so swollen that I actually can’t get my rings off, which means that I had probably better do so, soon. Continue Reading

5 Comments Marriage, Pregnancy

Edema Marriage Pregnancy

Have I made a horrible mistake?

September 23, 2015 Zoe

This morning, I am feeling particularly happy and excited about the baby growing inside me. I love her already, and she hasn’t even entered this world yet. She is growing inside my body, but also seems to be growing in the size she takes up in my head each day. There are still moments when I stop thinking about being pregnant, about what’s going on inside my body, but then there are the reminders that make me think about her again. Usually, that’s a good and exciting thing, but last night was different. Continue Reading

4 Comments Marriage, Pregnancy

Marriage Mistake?Pregnancy

How we decided to procreate

September 14, 2015 Zoe

When Dean and I got married, everyone was instantly asking when we were planning on having a kid. In fact, we weren’t planning on spawning at all. We loved (and continue to love) each other very much and saw no reason to grow our little family. We just wanted to spend time together with our cats, and figured that we would never have kids. In fact, we had talked about it over the years we were together and agreed that we weren’t really all that interested in procreating. This is part of why everyone who knew us was so surprised when I announced that I was pregnant.

It was a big decision to make, and quite different to what we had thought about before. In actual fact, it was something of a gradual decision that evolved over a bunch of months, with a sudden leap towards the end. I know plenty of couples have no interest in breeding, and that’s totally cool, and others have zero doubt that they want to reproduce one day. Our journey was a bit more circuitous, but still ended up with some decisive moments. Continue Reading

5 Comments Marriage, Pregnancy

Conceive Conception Falling pregnant

On asking for help, and turning it down

September 11, 2015 Zoe

One of the skills I had to learn over the years was how to ask for help. Everything from asking for help with work, to finding someone to give me a hand when I didn’t feel well, it wasn’t something that came naturally to me. I liked to think that I could do just about anything on my own and it took me a while to figure out how to ask for help. I’ve had to ask for even more help recently as pregnancy has changed some of my ability to haul groceries or lift things or do a variety of physical tasks that used to be no problem. But I’m now needing to learn a new skill.

The desire to help out is a wonderful one. It can make everyone feel better about themselves – the person getting help can feel supported and the person helping can feel needed. It’s why when I used to have people over I’d try to leave some easy cooking elements undone so that when someone offered to help there was cheese to grate or sauces to put in bowls. But Princess Harley is coming and it’s not like I can just leave something undone for her to make someone else feel important. Continue Reading

1 Comment Marriage, Parenting

Help No Help Parenting