Browsing Category: Parenting

Is it right to pierce baby ears?

I love earrings. I don’t always wear them, but they generally make me happy. In fact, I recently bought new earrings from the awesome people of Tech Girl and they are ridiculously pretty and geeky. They make me happy. Here, look at how cool they are!

Yay! Thank you so much @techgirlza for my amazing geek jewelry! #geek #earrings

A photo posted by Zoe Hawkins (@moonstormer) on

I was ten when I got my ears pierced, and it was sort of a coming of age experience for me. I only knew a few other girls with pierced ears and it was a big deal to be allowed to get them pierced, and then to do all the stuff necessary to take care of them. I only knew a couple girls whose ears were pierced as babies and I remember even then wondering about the pros and cons of it. Sure, it’s great that they didn’t have any memory of getting their ears pierced, but they also didn’t have the significance, either. Continue Reading

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5 Comments Geek, Parenting

Where do extended families fit?

I grew up without any contact with my extended family. I obviously knew that my parents had parents of their own, but that those relationships weren’t good and my brother and I didn’t know them. I have aunts and uncles I’ve never met, cousins I don’t know names of and whatever other forms of relatives that are somewhere out there in the world, and I’m okay with that. As an adult, I got to know my great uncle and meet a few relatives through that line, and while it’s been fun to see what my extended family is like, it hasn’t really changed my life or how I see myself.

Dean is much closer with his extended family. He grew up knowing his aunts and uncles, playing with his cousins and at least knowing his grandparents (although I’m not really too sure how close he was with them before they passed on). Of course moving overseas and then returning to South Africa changed those relationships, and it’s not as if he’ll pick up the phone to call his cousins, although he’s generally quite happy to see his various family members during special occasions. Since getting married, our relationship is “immediate” family, with everyone else sort of extended families, right? Can you tell that I’m confused by this? But ultimately, my question comes down to raising Harley, of course. Continue Reading

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3 Comments Parenting

How much do babies cost?

It’s sort of an accepted reality, right? Kids are ridiculously expensive (but apparently worth it). From the moment they are born (and even before) they cost money and that amount can only rise as they get older. It’s one of the big reasons that Dean and I held off on procreating for so long; it was sort of ingrained in both of us that we simply couldn’t afford it… until we decided that maybe we could. So, just how much does it cost to have a baby?

I’m not going to crunch ALL the numbers, and I’d really appreciate any input from parents who have gone through this – obviously you all know where the real hidden costs come in and what sort of things can be avoided or negated entirely. Still, it’s worth looking at, even with very loose and vague figures. Continue Reading

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8 Comments Parenting, Pregnancy

My job? Mommy/curator of the world

When I started this blogging journey, I sort of promised myself that I would write every day of the week, unless work was chaos or I was traveling or something. There will always be a reason not to write, but by sticking to writing every day, I make sure I really look at what I’m thinking and feeling at any given point on this journey. Pregnancy isn’t easy, and I’m sure parenting won’t be, either. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse to not stay in touch with myself (and with all of you who read my words). Yesterday, though, I didn’t write, and here’s why.

I’m working hard on finding a balance between speaking my mind and also just keeping quiet. I have many feelings about what’s going on in this country, but I also know that no matter how much South Africa feels like home, I will always be a foreigner. I will always have a different perspective on all of this because I didn’t grow up here, I wasn’t raised with the same cultural baggage – I come with my own. Harley will be raised here, but hopefully she’ll at least be raised to see things from many different perspectives… but it’s still making me think a lot of about the way things have “always” been done. Continue Reading

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5 Comments Parenting, South Africa

South Africa and the privilege of casual racism

It was only a few days ago that I talked about how much I adore being pregnant in South Africa. People here LOVE pregnant ladies in a way I haven’t seen in other parts of the world. Everyone has been so warm towards me and the random acts of kindness can bring a tear to my eye (even when I’m not hormonal). But there is another side to things, one that will be much more apparent once Harley is born, and recent current events are making me even more cognizant of the issues.

I was incredibly lucky growing up. I mean that in many ways, but for the sake of this post I’m looking at two specific things. First of all, I grew up with privilege – I lived in New York City, attended private school, went to summer camp and generally lived that “privileged” middle class life that people love to moan about. On the other hand, I was also raised by a mom who wanted to ensure that I grew up in a multicultural environment. I didn’t even understand the concept of race until I was already beyond the point of being a child, and the idea of racism truly never made sense to me. I went to schools where my friends came from a variety of racial, religious and even alternative backgrounds (even back in those days, I had a classmate with two mommies) and it was only once I moved overseas that I started to see and experience discrimination in a new way. I’d like for Harley to have a similar upbringing, but I’m not sure how possible that is in South Africa. Continue Reading

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4 Comments Parenting, South Africa