Browsing Category: Rambling

Something’s gotta give, or risk burning out

November 25, 2016 Zoe

I feel like every other article I read is about moms burning out, about how overworked we are, about how depleted we are. There was this excellent one about post-partum depletion and the bounce back myth that says we need to stop expecting women (and ourselves) to get back to “normal” after having a baby. Another great read was this one about a working mom who finally put herself first, opting to get sleep and exercise and slow down a bit instead of working insane hours and then giving the rest of her life force to her family. Considering how much I’m seeing these articles shared on social media, I figure I’m not alone in feeling this way.

It’s not meant as a complaint, or a rant, or some sort of feminist tirade, but I do feel that we put unrealistic expectations on women. I know I put unrealistic expectations on myself. I still fully expect myself to be able to work like I did before I had a kid, to perform well at my job. I also want to be a stellar mom, spending quality time with my kid to help her grow and develop and learn. (Oh, and apparently the intensive motherhood that I want is great for baby but leads to higher rates of unhappiness amongst moms.) I still want to be a loving and helpful wife, make coffee in the mornings and dinner at night and be keen for alone time when Harley is asleep. Oh, and I also want to get back into shape, exercise and eat right. Plus, I know I need time to read books, watch series and play games. But there aren’t enough hours in the day, are there? Continue Reading

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8 Comments Marriage, Parenting, Rambling

What I’m thankful for in 2016

November 24, 2016 Zoe

2016 has been one hell of a year. As Dean likes to quote from internet memes, when we look back on the insanity of this year, we will probably say, “well, it all started with a gorilla”. And while it’s easy to look at all the chaos and death and crazy politics of this year and talk about what an awful time it has been, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on some of the good stuff from this year and my gratitude for what I have. I know it’s a silly Thanksgiving tradition, but I actually don’t think it’s so silly – we are all so busy, so consumed by our normal, day-to-day lives, it’s nice to pause for a moment and be thankful for what we have, what we experience.

There are so many things in my life that are normal, that I take for granted that are truly wonderful, special and something to be thankful for. I am grateful for my home; sure, it may be a bit small for our family and all our belongings, but we own property (through the bank) and have a safe and secure place to live. I am lucky enough to always have food to eat, even if I’m too lazy to cook and get takeaways instead. I have running water and electricity most of the time, and a car to get around in (with a safe car seat for Harley). These are all basic needs that are met and exceeded that I’m so thankful for. But there’s still loads more. Continue Reading

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Gratitude Thankful Thanksgiving

A relaxing morning out and thoughts about the journey ahead

November 15, 2016 Zoe

On Saturday, I was invited by Emirates Airlines to come for a movie at Hyde Park. The idea was to promote their entertainment system and let all the bloggers and their families enjoy watching the new kids’ movie, Storks. I went mainly because I thought I’d show face, meet the PR reps and get a feel for the event, but I didn’t imagine that Harley would last for the movie. Instead, my expectations were vastly exceeded.

Yes, there was coffee and juice and nice croissants. It was nice to chat to the other people there, to touch base with some of the mommy bloggers I usually only connect with online, and to be in a kid-friendly environment with Harley where she could dress up like a flight attendant or pilot. But it was also the movie experience that made me particularly happy. Continue Reading

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Movies Relax!travel

Yes, we will still move to America despite Trump’s victory

November 10, 2016 Zoe

Yesterday was a very hard day for me. I was feeling down for most of the day. No, that’s not quite right. I was filled with anxiety for most of the day, feeling sick to my stomach and overwhelmed and wondering about our future. It made me so sad that so many Americans could vote for a man I see as absolutely vile. It made me sad that so many Americans were embracing his racist, sexist and pro-hate narrative – how could I still think about moving to America when so many of my friends were looking to get out? Would my move to the States be an endorsement of who he is and what he stands for?

Then, Dean and I went out. We went for food and drinks and to really talk about it all. And we will still move to America despite Trump becoming president. Day to day life will probably still be the same – good schools will still offer Harley a quality education, good jobs will still pay us salaries that make life affordable, and we can still have access to all the good food and cool gaming and fun activities available in the US of A. But more than that, there’s something I can do in the States that I can’t do here; I can make a difference there. Continue Reading

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Life and Death

November 8, 2016 Zoe

Just shy of two weeks ago, Harley and I went to our first funeral. But it’s not just the day of the funeral that has stuck with me, it’s everything around it, too. You see, one of my closest friend’s mom died in a tragic and sudden way. It’s been devastating for the family, but also for everyone who was touched by her life. Jan was a beautiful, generous, loving woman who made everyone feel special. She loved Harley so much, too, and called herself Harley’s God-Grandmother. And she was. And now that she’s gone, it’s made me think about the past as well as the future.

Looking back, I wish I had seen her more. I have wonderful memories with her, but I wish I had even more. I wish I had asked her to hang out with me and Harley when she was free in Joburg. I generally don’t believe in regret – I know that I always make the best decisions I can with the information I have at the time. And yet… I regret not spending more time with Jan, and if I’d known then just how little time we’d have together, I would have done things differently. But I suppose that’s what death does to us. Continue Reading

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