I feel like I’ve known you all long enough. Okay, maybe some of you have finally decided to read this blog because you get to read about my boobs, and that’s also fine. Either way, I want to get a bit personal today and share some stuff about my breasts. They’ve been through quite a journey in recent years, and I think they deserve the attention.
I really loved my boobs when I was younger. I had those ideal, 20-something-year-old boobs when I was at university. The kind that were big and full enough to fill out a top, but small enough that I didn’t really NEED to wear a bra unless I wanted to. You know, if I wanted extra push up and cleavage. I’m not trying to brag about my body or something. There were plenty of other aspects of my physique that I wasn’t wild about, but my boobs weren’t on that list.
As I progressed into my 20s, they really didn’t change. Perky, full, round, big enough but not too big. Happy days. Oh, but how youth is wasted is on the young.
When I got pregnant, my nipples became absurdly sensitive. Like, hurt for the water to hit them in the shower, sensitive. It was so bad that I bought these bra-lette type things at some local department store. I couldn’t bear real cups or a “real” bra, but I needed an extra something between me and the rest of the world. Eventually, the sensitivity subsided, probably somewhere in the second trimester, but by then I was wearing one of those yummy mummy things on my stomach and the bra-lette stayed with me for extra support for the changing body.
After I had Harley, I was pumping and then nursing all day. Like, seriously, it was All. The. Time. I tried the nursing bra thing. I hated them. With a body I wasn’t totally comfy with, I ended up still living in the same infinity dresses that got me through my pregnancy. I could easily get my boobs in and out for a hungry baby, and they somehow offered decent support depending on how I tied them.
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It has been such a mixed week. On the one hand, I’ve been filled with happiness and gratitude. I got to celebrate my mom’s birthday with her on the day for the first time in over a decade. I also had a week of fun with my kid, and I’m in awe of how much she is growing and learning, and coming into her kind and hilarious personality. On the other hand, I’ve been dealing with treating a toddler who managed to get pink eye (and share it with me), plus I need to go for a root canal next week. I had a traumatic root canal experience when I was as 13 that led to me living on Vicodin for six months while they tried to fix it. I’m super nervous for the procedure, even though I know dentistry has changed a lot in the past 20 years. Any advice or well wishing will be appreciated. ❤️ 📷: @taveybarrett
During breastfeeding, my boobs grew. Not as much as some ladies talk about, but they definitely got bigger. Of course, after nursing, they’d get smaller again. Up and down, inflating and deflating. Seeing as I did this for TWO YEARS before I weaned Harley, I suppose it’s to be expected that it changed the structure of my breasts. They are still a decent size (in fact, I’ve gone up a cup size), but no longer as perky.
No, they don’t point to (or hang near) my knees, but they’re not waving at passing clouds either. They’re somewhere in the middle.
The worst part is that there’s a portion of boob that touches my body before it curves back up. You know what I’m talking about, right? I could put a pencil under there and it wouldn’t fall. My left breast is the worst for this, probably because it’s always been my bigger one. She got me through nursing by being the powerhouse milk maker, but she’s sorta letting down the team now.
My boobs still look great in bras, though. But that brings me to my next issue. The last bra I had bought was from before my pregnancy. It was a push-up bra, because what was the point of a bra if it wasn’t pushing up my already perky boobs? It mostly lived on my center island in my kitchen since we moved because I would take it off before my shoes or any other article of clothing, as soon as I walked through the door.
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No really, I’ve never found bras to be particularly comfortable. Sports bras were and are necessary, but day to day bras just made me feel pinched, constricted or uncomfortable. The push-up bra from pre-pregnancy time was so sore it actually left marks on my skin where it dug in. I’d put it on, go do whatever needed doing and strip it off, sometimes even while driving home.
I went looking for those weird pregnancy bras I wore, but they obviously didn’t make the cut when I was packing stuff to be moved from South Africa. Why would I ever wear those ugly things again, I must have imagined?
Then, like many people with breasts who also happen to be on Facebook, I started getting bombarded by bra ads online. All these fancy bra companies with cool ads vying for my attention. Buying a new bra wasn’t even on my radar. Why did I need to get a bra? I work from home, so most of the time I just go bra-less around the house. When I need to wear a bra with a certain top, I grab it from the center island, wear it while I’m out and strip it off as soon as I’m alone again. Sometimes even during the drive home.
But, marketing does work. I took all the quizzes. Yes, fancy bra sites now have quizzes to help you find the perfect style for you. Then I went and read reviews. I particularly liked this unbiased comparison review/blog, which helped me decide to go for True & Co, where I decided to follow the quiz’s advice and buy a True Body Triangle Convertible Strap.
Can I just tell you how much I love this bra? I mean, I LOVE this bra. It is super soft and comfy. It doesn’t dig in anywhere, pinch anything or restrict any movement. Instead of hurting my back or shoulders, I think it’s actually helping them by redistributing the weight of my boobs. Plus, my breasts look AMAZING in it. While it’s not quite the super push up that I used to get, it still has a decent lift and creates some worthwhile cleavage.
(Cleavage seen in the video above is from wearing this new bra.)
With no underwire, a comfortable design, low cut enough that it doesn’t show in my tank tops AND a super soft feel, I’ve totally fallen in love. Of course, that meant I was telling some of my friends about it. Now, remember, I heard about this company because of the unending Facebook ads. Now that I’ve ordered, I get regular emails from them, too. So it’s only SLIGHTLY creepy that after raving about the new bra to my friends, I got an email with a referral link. That’s right, an email came in saying to tell all my friends about my new bra (too late!) and we’d BOTH get $15 off a purchase.
As a result, I’m sharing the referral link here. Mainly because if you buy a bra, I get $15 of credit, which will go right back into buying more bras so that I don’t have to dig this one out of the laundry over and over again. I seriously only let Dean wash it because I realized that I was being gross. So I will probably buy another two bras from them. My test results say there’s an underwire bra I might like from them (could be worth a try) plus a similar one to the style I already bought.
Anyway, the point is that I finally have a bra that makes my boobs feel nice again. They look pretty without hurting. And while Dean and I have joked since before all this that he would pay to put my body back the way it was before the little one came along, I’m not totally sure I want to do that. I might just wear a comfy bra that makes my boobs look perky again. At least I can wear it all day – I actually take it off before bed, and it’s never been stripped off on the center island. It’s nice to reclaim this part of my body as mine, to feel confident with my breasts again as a part of who I am, instead of a part of the whole mothering thing.
So if you’re looking for a comfy bra, or you just want to click the link and then see what happens to YOUR Facebook ads, here is my referral link. You get $15 off your purchase, and I score $15 of credit when you buy. I just need 6 of you to buy bras so that I can get the two bras that I really want. That’s not so bad, right? C’mon, do it for me, and do it for your tatas. (Do people still say tatas?)
For now, I’m making peace with my mom body. I’ve been resculpting it with help from Carla. She sends me amazing workout plans, nutrition advice and more. I’m doing a Wonder Woman 5k walk/run in March with a friend of mine, mainly so that we can dress up like Wonder Woman and have fun. I’m feeling stronger and fitter than ever, but I still have a stomach paunch and extra weight that just won’t shift. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe my body is different now. Maybe I need to wear a bra for my boobs to point up. Maybe I’m happy to live in yoga pants all winter. Maybe it isn’t compromising or hating myself, but truly loving who I am and all my body has been through. Maybe it’s okay to be comfortable.