I have been largely absent from this blog. In large part, it’s because I’m avoiding talking about some stuff, and I don’t want to share parts here until I can share all the things. But I had a wonderful day on the 4th of July, and it felt momentous in a way. I’m hoping that other moms with young kids can identify, and maybe get a little bit of hope.
Earlier in the week, I asked my mom when things got easier. I know that parenting is always hard, and that “momlife” is a perpetual struggle. But I also remembered having a blast on family vacations. I remembered going for coffee and a scone with my mom, sitting and talking (although I can’t remember WHAT we used to talk about).
When I’ve talked with friends who also have kids around Harley’s age, we’ve wondered when things got easier. We all agreed that we thought five sounded like a pretty good age, and that from 7-9 sounded like the sweet spot in many ways. We talked about how tired we all were, how kids were such a rollercoaster of being needy and whiny, and then just cute and sweet enough to make up for it.
So it was with a sense of humor that I accepted an invitation for Harley, Dean and I to go to pool party/BBQ for 4th of July. A couple other families would be there, and the plan was to grill some food, swim, and generally just hang out. The ladies and I commiserated about how awful last year’s 4th of July had been for all of us – we were all relatively new to the area, and all felt bad about our lack of celebration. This would be a new tradition, and a chance for all the kids to hang out and hopefully keep each other company.
It was DIVINE. The kids all had a blast playing together. Even though Harley wouldn’t actually swim, she hung out at the top step of the pool, playing with the other kids as they swam around or did their things. The ladies had pool noodles to float on, and the guys were also swimming around and hanging out. We had good food, the kids were happy to play in different configurations and groupings. We ate, we drank, we laughed, and all got to hang out and have fun.
It was the moment I’d been waiting for. It was the time that things got easier. I could have complete conversations without a kid crying or needing me. I had fun playing with Harley and her friends, laughing at their stories and hanging out. It was relaxed, fun, and the day went by quickly. It was everything I could have hoped for in a 4th of July celebration.
More than that, it was the sign of things to come. It was proof that things DO get easier. It’s not all day, it’s not every day. But I do have a future ahead of me including fun days with the kid, fun family adventures, happy memories with family friends.
That’s why I needed to blog. To remember that there are amazing days mixed in. Sure, some days are a slog. Some days are exhausting. But these are the moments that can make them all worthwhile, and I can’t help but think that we’ll have many more of them.