Tag Archives: baby girl

Thumb sucking and other sources of comfort

Before Harley was born, people asked me if I would want her to use a dummy/pacifier or suck her thumb. I wasn’t too worried about it – I figured if she liked a dummy she could use that, if she liked her thumb she could suck that, and whatever happened happened. Then she ended up in the NICU and she had to use a dummy to improve her sucking reflex. That didn’t last long once she was out of there, but she didn’t seem to interested in sucking on anything other than boob, and even that was just for food and then she’d unlatch herself.

Lately, though, she’s been discovering that she can suck her thumb. She hasn’t quite picked a preferred hand, using whichever thumb happens to find it’s way into her mouth. It’s a noisy endeavor, too, as she talks and murmurs around her thumb while sucking, making bizarre sounds but seemingly having fun. I’m not sure if it just feels good while teething, or is generally nice for soothing herself, but I’m endlessly amused to watch her figure this out. Plus, I’m happy that she’s found a source of comfort for herself.  Continue Reading

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Activities for baby development – 6-9 months old

Harley at 6 months

I’ve written before about my desire to help Harley develop. It’s not just about making her a genius, which would obviously be great, but also about making her a well-rounded person with all the motor, cognitive, emotional and social skills she’ll need to thrive as she grows up. But it’s really weird with a baby. I mean, on the one hand, they are sort of like blobs who can’t really do that much, but on the other hand, their brains are developing faster than they ever will. They are learning so much all the time, even if it doesn’t feel like it, and there are all sort of things that we can do to help them.

I’m enjoying Harley a lot more now. She is so much more engaging – she smiles when we do things, she loves to see me and interact with me, and she is so much easier to read now. Plus, the activities that we can do together are much more fun now, too. Sure, the 3-6 month activities were pretty cool, and the stuff we did when she was 0-3 months helped so much with bonding, but now it feels like we do things together instead of me doing all the work. Continue Reading

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5 Comments Child Development, Geek, Parenting

How dads help as parents

how dads help as parents

I love my husband so very much – I don’t say that often on this blog because I sort of figure that it should go without saying. Besides, my husband doesn’t read my blog (most of the time) and when he does, I doubt he does so to have his ego stroked. Yesterday was Father’s Day, though, and Dean’s first Father’s Day as a dad at that. It’s weird with Harley being so young – she doesn’t know what the day is about, but I still got him a mug with her face on it and a bunch of coffee for him to take to work.

Celebrating Father’s Day has made me think about how dads help as parents. Sure, plenty of kids grow up without a father, and I would never be one to push gender roles at all – I could end up being the one to help her with her math homework, or Dean could be the one to teach her how to cook or bake. But there are certain things that I’ve seen Dean do with Harley that I simply wouldn’t be as good at, and she’s better for having him. Continue Reading

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Feeling like a mommy

Feeling like a mommy

It’s such a strange thing to become a mom. From one day to the next, you become a mommy. It’s not just about creating a life, it’s about all the mental, emotional and physical things that means. I wasn’t quite ready to define myself as a mommy. I mean sure, I had made a person, but all the things that go along with that title didn’t quite seem to fit. But they do now.

Harley hasn’t quite developed separation anxiety, a normal thing in the coming phase of her life, but it’s getter there. She’s now happy to see me, excited when I smile at her. She doesn’t scream right when I put her down or give her to someone else to hold, but she is increasingly aware of me, of where I am and what I’m doing. She can’t say mama yet, but I can see it in her eyes. She knows who I am, and she’s happier when I’m with her. And I adore being with her, too… most of the time. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Parenting

Promiscuous feminists, rape culture, bathrooms and mothering a daughter

stanford rape case

I tried to write this post yesterday and failed miserably. Maybe it’s because I felt like there was a lack of focus to my post, or maybe because there were so many things I wanted to write about. It felt like a jumbled mess and I wasn’t sure how to share it. But then I realized that just because my thoughts are a jumbled mess doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share them. So, here’s what I’m thinking about at the moment, mostly inspired by the whole Stanford rape case situation.

It starts with location. I remember when I was getting ready to move to South Africa, I was very aware that Joburg was the rape capital of the world – not exactly an accolade for the city. I was worried that I would become a victim, that South Africa would feel more dangerous than any other place I’ve ever lived. Luckily, I still live a very safe life, but I am aware of the risks in this country. Then again, I’m no more aware here than I was growing up in New York City, or living in LA or any other city. It’s an awareness and vigilance that women worldwide need to have. Continue Reading

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8 Comments Parenting, Rambling, South Africa