Tag Archives: Baby

Has motherhood made me an easier mark?

Dean has always said that I have a soft heart. I have compassion for people, I just can’t help it. Part of it is that I have empathy, that I can feel for other human beings and imagine how hard it must be in their situation. I also am a writer, and I know that it wouldn’t be hard to write the scenario where Dean and I fall on hard times. It’s a common story for so many people – economies struggle, jobs are shed, people get hurt, the list goes on and on. I know that Dean and I work hard for our life, and that even our comfortable existence could be turned on its head.

Since Harley came along, I’ve become even more sensitive. I mourn for strangers as someone’s baby. I feel for other mothers, no matter the struggles they experience, and I want to do anything I can to make life better for other people. However, I have noticed that my sensitivity and empathy might also be making me an easier mark for con artists. Continue Reading

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11 Comments Rambling, South Africa

6-7 ways I’ve changed in the past 7.5 months

Mandela Day

It’s Mandela Day here in South Africa, a day when we’re all encouraged to spend 67 minutes to help make South Africa and the world a better place. I will be striving to do that for the next 67 DAYS as a part of #CarseatFullstop, so while it would obviously be great to go volunteer my time somewhere, at least I sort of feel like I’m making a difference. So instead, for Mandela Day, I want to look at the 6 or 7 ways my life has changed since Harley came into this world. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Marriage, Parenting, South Africa

Why I’m a part of #CarseatFullstop

#carseatfullstop

In the same way that I hate being told what to do, I hate telling other people what to do. Parenting is hard enough without people making judgements about our parenting choices. BUT, there is one notable exception, and that’s when it comes to a child’s safety. If you choose to feed your kid from the boob or with formula, I don’t care because either way your little one is getting fed. If you choose to have a nanny or send your kid to creche, that’s also your choice and I have nothing to add to the conversation. However, if a child is in danger, we all have a responsibility to speak up.

The world is full of scary things. I recently saw a video where a little one was almost snatched, just a couple steps away from her mom, or how about the recent uproar about the Stanford rape case? Babies can get sick and end up in the NICU, a place I hope Harley never ends up in again. Sometimes, there’s nothing we can do to prevent the horrors – it comes down to luck. However, when you get in a car, there is something you can do to protect your precious cargo, and a frighteningly small percentage of parents do it. Continue Reading

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7 Comments Rambling, South Africa

How this mommy and baby class saved me and Harley

Toptots

With Harley now seven months old, I have enough distance from those early weeks and months to look back with some perspective. I’ve written about how traumatic her birth experience was, but even then I didn’t realize how traumatic it was and how hard it was going to make things with her. I was sick, she was so very premature, and we had quite a road ahead of us. I struggled to bond with her, I felt like everything was just so hard, and I was even resenting her. It was NOT good.

Luckily, while still pregnant, I had already decided that I wanted to try and find a nice mommy and baby class to attend once she was born. There are so many out there, so I wasn’t quite sure which one I’d go for. But I chatted to Geoff, my editor at Lazygamer, and his wife used to own a TOPTOTS franchise, so I decided to give them a whirl. It turns out, that was one of the best decisions I’ve made in the first six months of Harley’s life. Continue Reading

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4 Comments Child Development, Parenting, South Africa, Sponsored

Attachment parenting and the most important year

attachment parenting

I can’t stress enough how lucky I am. Sure, I have plenty of ups and downs and real life and troubles like everyone else, but I am incredibly lucky – I work from home. While it’s a lot of hard work, and I’ve struggled to find a balance at times, it has meant that I’ve been able to work and take care of Harley at the same time. She hasn’t needed a nanny or a creche; I have been her primary caretaker, her teacher, her entertainment, her jungle gym, her bed, her food source, so in a word – her mommy.

It hasn’t been easy, and I often felt like I was failing. Especially when Harley was even smaller than she is now, I wondered if it was enough to just hold her during the day while I worked, I would get frustrated when I didn’t know what was wrong or when I felt like I couldn’t help her. It’s gotten so much easier as she has gotten bigger and easier to understand, and a big part of that is because we both know that I can take care of her, even when I’m not totally sure how. But the more I read about attachment parenting, the more it sounds like what I’ve done with Harley naturally, and will continue to do cognizantly. Continue Reading

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9 Comments Parenting