Tag Archives: Baby

Mourning after the death of 49 babies

I’ve been trying to avoid thinking too much about the events in Orlando. Here in South Africa, I could be a world away, and yet it’s feeling deeply personal this time. I feel it on so many levels, and I wasn’t sure why this mass shooting felt so much harder than previous ones. But then I saw a post that made me realize why.

My Facebook is filled with outrage, support, memorials and other posts. But this one nearly brought me to tears this morning. In the early hours of the morning, the young man texted his mom to say he loved her. He was hurt, hiding in the bathroom and ultimately gunned down. And I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, holding my little princess Harley, feeling like I can barely breathe. Continue Reading

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When should we have a second baby?

second baby like pugsley

I realized today that it’s been over a year since I’ve been drunk. It’s not that drinking is important to me or anything, I partied enough in my 20s to more than make up for any lack of partying now. But it’s been over a year that I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding, and while I now can enjoy a beer or two, or a couple glasses of wine, there are some things that are more difficult with a baby around. You know, like getting a full night’s sleep, or working for more than 20 minutes at a time, or staying clean. I don’t mind it, and I’m finding things with Harley way easier than they were, but it does make me wonder about the whole second baby thing.

At this point, I’m fairly confident that I would like a second child. I want a little sibling for Harley to play with, I want another go at this mothering thing, and besides, most board games are best with four or more players. Also, it’s sort of like the burnt waffle idea – you always burn the first pancake/waffle, and the first kid is always the toughest. I think I’ve been broken in as a mom a bit, so I’ll be more prepared for a new born in some ways (of course it will be way harder in other ways). Continue Reading

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How raising a daughter is making me rethink feminism

feminism kid

My mom was a hilarious feminist when I was growing up. We still laugh how when I was potty trained, she had offered to buy me ANYTHING I wanted, and I asked for a Barbie. This made her so conflicted, and she ended up buying me Doctor Barbie; when I’d comment on how pretty her hair was or her pretty dress, she’d tell me “She’s a physician, a respected member of the community!” – we still howl with laughter. When I was a bit older and wanted to wear eye shadow, she said that first we needed to “discuss the political ramifications of makeup”- one of my all time favorite phrases to this day.

It was all part of her quest to raise me as an empowered and confident woman, something that I want to do for Harley as well. While I’m not as worried about dolls or makeup, I am worried about the world I’m raising her in. I recently read a brilliant article about a mom’s take on the whole transgender bathroom debate. For her, it has nothing to do with bathrooms, she isn’t worried about  her daughter getting assaulted in the ladies room. No, she’s worried about the statistical likelihood that her daughter will be pressured into underage sex, or drugs, or drinking. She’s worried about the statistical likelihood that her baby will be violently raped before the age of 35, that she’ll be a victim of institutionalized sexism. Continue Reading

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How could I already forget?

forget with time

Harley is my cuddly little bear. She seems to be getting a bit clingy, which honestly is fine by me considering this weather – it’s so nice to cuddle up with her and keep each other warm and happy. While she is hitting milestones and definitely growing up, I still see her as my tiny little person, my little baby. But this weekend I realized that she really isn’t so little anymore.

We went to go see our friends on Saturday to meet their tiny person who may or may not already be betrothed to Harley (their surname is Davids, so if she marries him she’ll be Harley Davids… and if she has a son with him he’d be Harley Davids’ son. That’s enough reason for an arranged marriage, right?). He was only 12 days old, and weighed less than 4kgs. He was beyond tiny, and adorable, and helpless – just a little newborn. I got to hold him, and it was amazing to remember that Harley was that big not so long ago. In fact, she was way smaller. How could I have already forgotten how that felt? Continue Reading

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Why I think singing to my baby will help her

singing or headset

I’ve been exposing Harley to music since she was in the womb. No, I didn’t play Mozart at her in utero, but simply made a point to listen to some of my favorite songs every day so that they’d be familiar to her. I’ve continued to play them, albeit less regularly, since she was born. I knew music calmed her from an early age, and really that’s a reason enough to continue with music in her life. However, there’s more to it.

I noticed it when my mom was visiting, singing songs and playing games with Harley. It reminded me of the songs we used to sing growing up, and how music has the unique ability to stick with us. I still know all 50 states in alphabetical order because of a song I learned in what, fourth grade? Songs from my childhood can come on the radio and I still know every single word, even if I haven’t heard it in over a decade. There’s a power to music, and it makes more sense the more you look at it, making me know it’s the best thing I can do for my baby. Continue Reading

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2 Comments Child Development, Parenting