Tag Archives: Parenting

How dads help as parents

how dads help as parents

I love my husband so very much – I don’t say that often on this blog because I sort of figure that it should go without saying. Besides, my husband doesn’t read my blog (most of the time) and when he does, I doubt he does so to have his ego stroked. Yesterday was Father’s Day, though, and Dean’s first Father’s Day as a dad at that. It’s weird with Harley being so young – she doesn’t know what the day is about, but I still got him a mug with her face on it and a bunch of coffee for him to take to work.

Celebrating Father’s Day has made me think about how dads help as parents. Sure, plenty of kids grow up without a father, and I would never be one to push gender roles at all – I could end up being the one to help her with her math homework, or Dean could be the one to teach her how to cook or bake. But there are certain things that I’ve seen Dean do with Harley that I simply wouldn’t be as good at, and she’s better for having him. Continue Reading

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Comment Marriage, Parenting

Feeling like a mommy

Feeling like a mommy

It’s such a strange thing to become a mom. From one day to the next, you become a mommy. It’s not just about creating a life, it’s about all the mental, emotional and physical things that means. I wasn’t quite ready to define myself as a mommy. I mean sure, I had made a person, but all the things that go along with that title didn’t quite seem to fit. But they do now.

Harley hasn’t quite developed separation anxiety, a normal thing in the coming phase of her life, but it’s getter there. She’s now happy to see me, excited when I smile at her. She doesn’t scream right when I put her down or give her to someone else to hold, but she is increasingly aware of me, of where I am and what I’m doing. She can’t say mama yet, but I can see it in her eyes. She knows who I am, and she’s happier when I’m with her. And I adore being with her, too… most of the time. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Parenting

Mourning after the death of 49 babies

I’ve been trying to avoid thinking too much about the events in Orlando. Here in South Africa, I could be a world away, and yet it’s feeling deeply personal this time. I feel it on so many levels, and I wasn’t sure why this mass shooting felt so much harder than previous ones. But then I saw a post that made me realize why.

My Facebook is filled with outrage, support, memorials and other posts. But this one nearly brought me to tears this morning. In the early hours of the morning, the young man texted his mom to say he loved her. He was hurt, hiding in the bathroom and ultimately gunned down. And I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, holding my little princess Harley, feeling like I can barely breathe. Continue Reading

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11 Comments Rambling

Promiscuous feminists, rape culture, bathrooms and mothering a daughter

stanford rape case

I tried to write this post yesterday and failed miserably. Maybe it’s because I felt like there was a lack of focus to my post, or maybe because there were so many things I wanted to write about. It felt like a jumbled mess and I wasn’t sure how to share it. But then I realized that just because my thoughts are a jumbled mess doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share them. So, here’s what I’m thinking about at the moment, mostly inspired by the whole Stanford rape case situation.

It starts with location. I remember when I was getting ready to move to South Africa, I was very aware that Joburg was the rape capital of the world – not exactly an accolade for the city. I was worried that I would become a victim, that South Africa would feel more dangerous than any other place I’ve ever lived. Luckily, I still live a very safe life, but I am aware of the risks in this country. Then again, I’m no more aware here than I was growing up in New York City, or living in LA or any other city. It’s an awareness and vigilance that women worldwide need to have. Continue Reading

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8 Comments Parenting, Rambling, South Africa

When should we have a second baby?

second baby like pugsley

I realized today that it’s been over a year since I’ve been drunk. It’s not that drinking is important to me or anything, I partied enough in my 20s to more than make up for any lack of partying now. But it’s been over a year that I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding, and while I now can enjoy a beer or two, or a couple glasses of wine, there are some things that are more difficult with a baby around. You know, like getting a full night’s sleep, or working for more than 20 minutes at a time, or staying clean. I don’t mind it, and I’m finding things with Harley way easier than they were, but it does make me wonder about the whole second baby thing.

At this point, I’m fairly confident that I would like a second child. I want a little sibling for Harley to play with, I want another go at this mothering thing, and besides, most board games are best with four or more players. Also, it’s sort of like the burnt waffle idea – you always burn the first pancake/waffle, and the first kid is always the toughest. I think I’ve been broken in as a mom a bit, so I’ll be more prepared for a new born in some ways (of course it will be way harder in other ways). Continue Reading

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10 Comments Uncategorized