The ups and downs of maternity leave

I am very lucky to have my dream job. As Content Editor and PR Manager over on Lazygamer.net, I get to do work that I enjoy, usually in the comfort of my PJs. I work hard, but because I love what I do, it rarely feels draining; rather, I’m excited to get up every morning and create cool content, engage with fun people and throw around a ridiculous amount of banter with my coworkers. For the past couple months, I’ve been on maternity leave. While I’ve incredibly grateful to be given this time off, it certainly has its ups and downs.

I’m lucky enough to be given three months of maternity leave. That means that I still have a few weeks before I go back to work, and even when I return, I’m even more lucky – I already work from home and have a company that supports me and will work around my baby-influenced schedule as much as possible. Yes, it is the dream situation for most women. But maternity leave isn’t all great. Continue Reading

4 Comments Parenting

Why I’m not sharing more baby photos

photos

We live in a strange age, with questions and concerns that are new for all of us to navigate. When I was growing up, my parents could take as many photos of me as they wanted. Those would then be sent to be developed (yes, this was an age of film) and we would wait with anticipation to see how they turned out. Most pictures ended up in a folder or a box, some occasionally being selected for framing or blowing up to larger size and then displayed or shrunk down to be carried in a wallet.

Now, photos have a different meaning. With our smart phones, it’s so easy to take pictures throughout the day and instantly see how they turned out, send them on to friends and post them online. It’s a normal part of our day to day lives and most of us don’t even think twice about taking a selfie at an event or snapping some quick photos of our food or locale. But when you add in another human life, things get a bit more complicated, at least in my book. Continue Reading

7 Comments Rambling

How I started to fall in love with my baby

skull bib

About three weeks ago, I wrote a rather miserable post. I was tired, frustrated and totally befuddled by Harley. She would cry and I would panic – what was I supposed to do to fix it? I only really liked her when she slept, and I felt like a horrible mother for it. I started by forgiving myself and accepting that a mother’s love didn’t have to be the typical image we see of it, but just that I kept trying to help her, even when I was clueless. But things really started to get easier when Harley started breastfeeding once she hit her due date; the power of nursing can’t be stressed enough for me. It makes me feel close to her, and gives me more agency because I feel there is something I can physically do to stop her crying, more than just shoving a bottle in her mouth.

But while things were improving, the process of falling in love with her was also moving along. Our massage class helped so much, and continues to help. It’s so great learning new things that I can do with her. I had planned on reading to her, playing games and other activities as she got older, but when she’s just a blob it felt like I couldn’t really do much with her. Now, we play with massages, physical games, songs, and tummy time. I can’t believe the surge of pride I feel when I see how strong she is, how I keep telling anyone who will listen that she’s going to be a genius. Slowly, I’ve realized that I’m growing to love her. Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting, Rambling

Is my baby torturing me? Not at the moment!

We have ways of making you talk! Okay, I don’t, but the CIA and other agencies do. Enhanced interrogation, aka torture, can include a wide range of activities. Technically, torturing another human is illegal according to international agreements, but it still happens. Don’t worry, I promise this isn’t such a dark post on a Friday! You see, over on Cracked.com, they compared techniques for breaking down prisoners with activities performed by babies, and it’s kinda hilarious.

There are five techniques listed: sleep deprivation; solitary confinement; sound torture; stress positions; and food and drink deprivation. Sleep deprivation is unavoidable, although as I already explained I think I’ve adapted to Harley’s unique form of this. Yes, I’m still tired most days, but I usually hit my stride and I’m not so sleep deprived as to become moody or to impair my judgement or driving abilities. Perhaps Harley is torturing me, but she’s doing it relatively mildly. But what about the other techniques? Continue Reading

Comment Parenting, Rambling

Redefining a good night’s sleep

Last night, I got a pretty good night’s sleep. Now, before you get jealous, let’s qualify that statement. Harley went to bed at around 10 after being a fussy nightmare from 5 in the evening. She slept until 2am, when I woke up and nursed her, getting her back to sleep by 2:30ish. She woke up again at 5am and went back to sleep at about 5:30, giving me ten minutes to lie back in bed before my alarm went off.

As little miss 8 hours sleep, I never would have believe 6.5 hours of interrupted sleep would ever feel like a glorious night of rest, but it seems that my body has adapted in the month since getting Harley home. In fact, I don’t even feel like I need a nap today (although I may reconsider this evening), and I feel full of energy. Maybe it’s all relative, though, and I feel so well rested as compared to what some nights have been like, but I think there are a few factors in that. Continue Reading

6 Comments Breast feeding, Parenting, Rambling