How much do babies cost?

It’s sort of an accepted reality, right? Kids are ridiculously expensive (but apparently worth it). From the moment they are born (and even before) they cost money and that amount can only rise as they get older. It’s one of the big reasons that Dean and I held off on procreating for so long; it was sort of ingrained in both of us that we simply couldn’t afford it… until we decided that maybe we could. So, just how much does it cost to have a baby?

I’m not going to crunch ALL the numbers, and I’d really appreciate any input from parents who have gone through this – obviously you all know where the real hidden costs come in and what sort of things can be avoided or negated entirely. Still, it’s worth looking at, even with very loose and vague figures. Continue Reading

8 Comments Parenting, Pregnancy

My job? Mommy/curator of the world

When I started this blogging journey, I sort of promised myself that I would write every day of the week, unless work was chaos or I was traveling or something. There will always be a reason not to write, but by sticking to writing every day, I make sure I really look at what I’m thinking and feeling at any given point on this journey. Pregnancy isn’t easy, and I’m sure parenting won’t be, either. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse to not stay in touch with myself (and with all of you who read my words). Yesterday, though, I didn’t write, and here’s why.

I’m working hard on finding a balance between speaking my mind and also just keeping quiet. I have many feelings about what’s going on in this country, but I also know that no matter how much South Africa feels like home, I will always be a foreigner. I will always have a different perspective on all of this because I didn’t grow up here, I wasn’t raised with the same cultural baggage – I come with my own. Harley will be raised here, but hopefully she’ll at least be raised to see things from many different perspectives… but it’s still making me think a lot of about the way things have “always” been done. Continue Reading

5 Comments Parenting, South Africa

South Africa and the privilege of casual racism

It was only a few days ago that I talked about how much I adore being pregnant in South Africa. People here LOVE pregnant ladies in a way I haven’t seen in other parts of the world. Everyone has been so warm towards me and the random acts of kindness can bring a tear to my eye (even when I’m not hormonal). But there is another side to things, one that will be much more apparent once Harley is born, and recent current events are making me even more cognizant of the issues.

I was incredibly lucky growing up. I mean that in many ways, but for the sake of this post I’m looking at two specific things. First of all, I grew up with privilege – I lived in New York City, attended private school, went to summer camp and generally lived that “privileged” middle class life that people love to moan about. On the other hand, I was also raised by a mom who wanted to ensure that I grew up in a multicultural environment. I didn’t even understand the concept of race until I was already beyond the point of being a child, and the idea of racism truly never made sense to me. I went to schools where my friends came from a variety of racial, religious and even alternative backgrounds (even back in those days, I had a classmate with two mommies) and it was only once I moved overseas that I started to see and experience discrimination in a new way. I’d like for Harley to have a similar upbringing, but I’m not sure how possible that is in South Africa. Continue Reading

4 Comments Parenting, South Africa

Trying and failing at staying fit during pregnancy

I wasn’t exactly at my most physically active when I fell pregnant. Even before I left for the States, unknowingly already a couple weeks pregnant, I hadn’t been as regular at the gym as I like to be. I was blaming it on work but the reality was that I just wasn’t feeling it as much. I love weight lifting, it’s my gym activity of choice (other than boxing and Zumba), but I just wasn’t being as committed to it as I should have been, probably because I didn’t have a set routine to follow. Then I disappeared off the States for 7 weeks and by the time I came home my first trimester was almost over and my doctor said no weight lifting.

Okay, so my exercise of choice was ruled out. What was I allowed to do? Apparently walking, yoga and swimming. Ugh. It’s not that I mind any of those – I love to walk, but more in a “I live in an urban area and can walk everywhere” kind of way rather than going for a purposeful 5km walk. Yoga is cool and I’ve dabbled in it for years, but it just doesn’t grab me and I’ve never found myself able to stick with it for long periods of time. Swimming? Well, I never REALLY did much swimming for fitness’ sake, although that seems to be my best chance at the moment. Continue Reading

3 Comments Fitness, Pregnancy

My rock and my edema

I know plenty of people who take their engagement rings and/or wedding rings off whenever they do dishes, put on moisturizer or whatever. I’ve even been told that it’s better to do so because it keeps your jewelry in better shape and helps avoid scratches, dulling and other issues. I’ve never been one of those people, though. From the time that Dean got down on one knee and asked me to marry him until now, I’ve only taken the ring off a handful of times. Since we exchanged vows and said “I do”, I can remember a single time I took my rings off (for cleaning). The rings and what they mean feel like part of me, so why would I ever want to take them off? Well, now I might not have much of a choice.

I am currently experiencing the joys of pregnancy edema. Like everything else awful that can happen during pregnancy, it’s totally normal. Basically, it just means that my feet swell up by the end of the day and I have to keep them elevated and drink plenty of water to try to keep the water retention at a minimum. However, the stiffness I was experiencing in my hands seems to be getting slowly worse, with my hands are starting to swell. Again, all totally normal and harmless, but it’s gotten to a bit of a sorry state. My fingers are now so swollen that I actually can’t get my rings off, which means that I had probably better do so, soon. Continue Reading

5 Comments Marriage, Pregnancy