Pregnancy and a fear of commitment

In my social life in general, I haven’t been afraid of commitment. I’ll make plans to see people days or weeks in advance without any anxiety. However, recently I find myself more wary of making plans, and it’s not because of my friends. It’s all my own fault, sorta.

You see, earlier on in my pregnancy, I could just tell people that I may or may not be up to eating, but getting together and hanging out wouldn’t be an issue. I was happy to chat, make jokes and be merry. In fact, at a few recent events, Dean and I were out way later than usual, enjoying the party until late into the night or early morning. But as the weeks have gone on, my energy levels have started to dip, my ankles have started to swell and I’m just less certain about making plans. Continue Reading

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Not all food was created equal

I have been quite lucky during my pregnancy not to suffer with morning sickness. I haven’t thrown up once (let me quickly go knock on all the wood) and I’ve hardly suffered from any queasiness. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve been without my fair share of food weirdness, I’ve had to listen to my body in order to avoid some horrible consequences. And when I didn’t listen was when I felt the worst.

Speaking to friends and acquaintances about their pregnancy experiences, it seems quite common to have some of these issues. Strong smells can be a big part of it, but for me there were just some foods that were totally off the menu, and are only now slowly returning. I’m always amused by the things pregnant women eat, and while I haven’t had any hilarious things like eating sand or pickles with ice cream, I thought I’d share some notable foods that were added or removed from my daily plate. Continue Reading

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Is sleep already ruined?

I love to sleep. It’s one of those things I’ve always enjoyed. Apparently, even as a kid, I was easy to put down to sleep. As an adult, I’ve continued to sleep well for the most part. I still even take naps. It was one of my biggest concerns going into this whole procreation thing; I know I’m not a pleasant person to be around when I haven’t gotten enough rest, and I sort of figure that I will be a wreck for a year or more. Here’s hoping that Harley follows in my footsteps and sleeps from an early age, instead of being like Dean who only really started sleeping when he was… 30?

So I am sort of as prepared as I’ll ever be for the kind of sleep deprivation that only an infant can bring down upon her parents. I know that on some level I have no idea how tired I will be when Harley arrives, and I think I’ve made peace with it. What I wasn’t expecting was how completely and utterly exhausted I’d already be now. Continue Reading

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5 personal questions strangers ask pregnant women

I have totally embraced this whole pregnant madonna thing. I flaunt my giant belly and I don’t feel bad about it, swim in my bikini and I think I’ve even mastered that knowing yet mysterious smile that seems to be part of the role. There are plenty of weird things about being pregnant, and much that is uncomfortable, but I think I’ve embraced the aesthetic of it.

Part of being so openly pregnant means that people feel entitled to ask me questions. Obviously friends and family will ask about things, but I’m always entertained by the questions that strangers think are cool to ask. The worst part is, I know I’ve asked the same things of other pregnant women, but it’s still sort of strange to think what’s normal when in fact it’s such a personal experience. So these are the most common personal questions strangers ask pregnant women, at least in my experience. Continue Reading

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Where do extended families fit?

I grew up without any contact with my extended family. I obviously knew that my parents had parents of their own, but that those relationships weren’t good and my brother and I didn’t know them. I have aunts and uncles I’ve never met, cousins I don’t know names of and whatever other forms of relatives that are somewhere out there in the world, and I’m okay with that. As an adult, I got to know my great uncle and meet a few relatives through that line, and while it’s been fun to see what my extended family is like, it hasn’t really changed my life or how I see myself.

Dean is much closer with his extended family. He grew up knowing his aunts and uncles, playing with his cousins and at least knowing his grandparents (although I’m not really too sure how close he was with them before they passed on). Of course moving overseas and then returning to South Africa changed those relationships, and it’s not as if he’ll pick up the phone to call his cousins, although he’s generally quite happy to see his various family members during special occasions. Since getting married, our relationship is “immediate” family, with everyone else sort of extended families, right? Can you tell that I’m confused by this? But ultimately, my question comes down to raising Harley, of course. Continue Reading

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