Browsing Category: Parenting

I don’t know how I balanced work and motherhood last week

October 10, 2016 Zoe

Last week was pure chaos for me. It’s always busy in the local gaming industry in the week leading up to rAge. No, we aren’t building stands or preparing for the expo in the way that the distributors do, but as press we need to book our interviews, coordinate schedules, and get invited to all kinds of events. On top of the usual mayhem, my awesome editor was away, which meant that I was in charge. It was so busy, and I often felt like I was running around like a mad woman. In between it all, I was still looking after Harley.

My little princess seems to be going through the mother of all growth spurts. Or maybe she is teething. Or maybe it’s both – I’m honestly not too sure. All I know is that she was particularly clingy last week. Thankfully, she was also pretty sleepy, getting some longer naps than usual in the mornings. Mostly on me, but still, at least I was able to work while she slept. When she was awake, it was hard to do much of anything – she was so busy but also refused to just sit on the floor and play with her toys for more than a few minutes at a time. Continue Reading

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8 Comments Parenting

Build a (literal) sense of direction in your kid by swinging

September 30, 2016 Zoe

I don’t like to brag, but there is a cool trait that I have that I am so happy to have. I have a great sense of direction. Plonk me in unfamiliar territory, give me a map or just a vague sense of where I am and where I need to go, and I can figure it out. My internal compass is pretty damn strong, and I do well with remembering streets, landmarks and a general sense of where I exist in space. It has made travel much more enjoyable, as well as made moving cities way less daunting. After driving somewhere once or twice, I can find my way there and back again without too much hassle. It’s sort of like in those Ubisoft open-world games – I sync my map internally and then I can access that info whenever I need it, even years later.

For a long time, I figured this was just an innate trait. I mean, sure, my father taught me about reading maps, and we had cool map drawing classes in my Waldorf elementary school, but in actual fact,I was drawing maps even before then. When my brother would play games, I would be the one drawing maps of dungeons, telling him where we needed to go. He was the one doing the controls, but I was always the navigator. However, after doing some digging, it seems that there was something else I did that helped give me a sense of direction, and it really isn’t hard to pass this awesome ability on to your little one… and maybe even improve your sense of direction, too. Continue Reading

3 Comments Child Development, Health, Parenting

early childhood development Sense of direction travel

I am not made for co-sleeping

September 20, 2016 Zoe

If you talk to anyone who has made a person, they will tell you something about co-sleeping. It’s honestly a lovely idea – babies aren’t used to being alone seeing as they were with us all through pregnancy, so they actually prefer to be with us all the time, including during sleep. Many parents around the world share their beds with their little ones. The concept of the family bed is pretty much as old as humanity, and it’s meant to be way more convenient for midnight feeds, and help everyone get a better night’s sleep. But not me.

I knew I wasn’t cut out for co-sleeping even before Harley arrived. I’ve never been able to sleep well next to other people. I can count on one hand the number of people I can share my bed with and still actually sleep. In fact, it’s a way that I gauge comfort with someone – if I can sleep properly next to you, we must be pretty damn compatible. When I slept soundly next to Dean, it was part of how I knew we were pretty awesome together, plus I wanted to keep our bed as a place where it’s just the two of us and not a baby-oriented area. And while I adore Harley with a type of love I’ve never really known before, she simply isn’t my best sleeping companion. But that could also be because I keep worrying about killing her, something I rarely fear with anyone else I’ve ever slept with. Continue Reading

16 Comments Marriage, Parenting

bad mother co-sleeping Sleep

Becoming a mom changed my view of my mom

September 13, 2016 Zoe

When people ask, I say that my mom and I have always been close. It’s funny, though, when she and my father were going through their awful, drawn out divorce, we had tearful conversations about how hadn’t felt close when I was growing up. But then we went back and read our diaries and found at the time, we actually had always felt close – both writing about going for coffee together, visiting museums, and all our funny jokes that just we shared. Obviously, we had the usual dramas and tears that adolescence brought; at one point I even shouted “you don’t know me and I don’t know you” during a fight, only to laugh about it a couple hours later.

As I’ve grown into adulthood, we’ve stayed close. At some points growing closer together and at others further apart. But we always spoke, we always shared pretty much everything, and we have always based everything on the foundation of loving each other no matter what. Even when we disagree, we can usually at least see where the other person is coming from. We get each other in a profound way, and our relationship has been such a solid part of my life. And having Harley made things even more meaningful for me. Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting, Rambling

Baby baby girl Bonding

Thoughts on a 9-month old baby

September 1, 2016 Zoe

I have been staring at a blank screen for 5 minutes now. I had all sorts of thoughts and ideas that I wanted to write about what it feels like to have a 9-month old baby. But I managed to get her to take a nap, and instead of working furiously as usual when she sleeps, I’ve just been enjoying the quiet for a bit. Which I suppose is the biggest change, the biggest shift in who I am and how I see the world. Nine months down the line, and it feels as if Harley has brought a new version of me into the world.

I keep thinking about one aspect of time, over and over again. Harley came eight weeks early. I didn’t get the full nine months of pregnancy, I didn’t get to go into labor; I had a very unique jump into motherhood. And yet, in my head, pregnancy still lasts nine months. In my head, this month-iversary is an important one because it would normally mark a point when Harley would have spent as much time outside my body as she did inside. Of course, we already hit that point a couple months ago, Still, this feels like a milestone celebration. Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting, Rambling

Baby baby girl Bonding