Browsing Category: Parenting

The search for diverse friends

There are so many things that I want to teach Harley, but I know not all of it can come from the words I speak to her or the actions she mimics. Some of it has to be experienced. One of those things that I think is really important for her to learn is that there’s no reason to discriminate against anyone based on their race, religion or sexual orientation. Awesome people and assholes can belong to any grouping – there are simply a range of people out there and you have to get to know them before you can make any conclusions about them; it can’t be done based on stereotypes.

Over the years, I’ve lived in many different countries and had friends from a variety of backgrounds. As a kid, I honestly didn’t even see race, with it needing to be pointed out to me years later that my first crush was on a dark skinned boy, or that I was raised with a different religion to my classmates. I’d like for Harley to also experience that diversity, and my plan to send her to international schools will definitely help with that. However, I also need to make some more diverse friends for our kids to play together before then… but it’s kind of an awkward task. Continue Reading

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2 Comments Parenting, South Africa

Why I “spoil” my baby

I have been quite lucky so far. Aside from one passing comment about not cuddling my little one “too much” (who knew there was even such a thing), no one has accused me of spoiling my baby. I don’t really believe that kids can be spoiled, although maybe it’s just a terminology issue – some babies become materialistic and entitled, but I think that has more to do with how you raise them than how much stuff they have. As for spoiling with love, well, I simply don’t think that’s possible.

I’ve written before about the kind of mother I want to be, and I still stand by those words. I don’t let Harley “cry it out”, choosing rather to cuddle and comfort her. I want her to know that she is heard when she asks for help, even when she’s too young to articulate what she needs (or even know it herself). I already linked to an article explaining that children who are cuddled and loved as babies are more adjusted and have fewer mental health issues, but apparently it goes beyond even that. Continue Reading

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11 Comments Parenting

Batman v Superman: a first night out

Last night, Dean and I attended the premiere for Batman v Superman. It was our first night out without the little one since we brought her home. I was nervous about leaving her, worried if she’d be okay and how the night would go. But I’m so glad we went, even if my feelings about the movie are mixed.

It used to be that going for a night out was a fairly easy affair, but obviously those days are long gone. Now, with a kid to look after, there was quite a bit more thought that had to go into things. We had confirmed with Dean’s parents that they’d look after Harley, so at least finding a sitter wasn’t one of those worries. Still, it wasn’t easy. Continue Reading

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3 Comments Marriage, Parenting

Drained

This should be an easy week – with two public holidays, it’s a short week. However, I’m feeling awful and I’m not sure how I will make it through. After a wonderful weekend in Parys, I came home to an awful stomach bug. I think it must have been something in the water, but I was pretty sick all day yesterday. I’m feeling a bit better today, but the combination of being ill and still breastfeeding has left me feeling totally drained.

It’s as though I have no fluids left in my body despite drinking as much as possible. All my energy either poured out of me from being sick, or was sucked out of me from the little one. I am so happy and proud of breastfeeding, but at moments like these, it doesn’t feel too great. It’s as if all my nutrients have been sapped, and I’m just a husk of a person. Continue Reading

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4 Comments Parenting, Rambling

Nothing is worse than a sick baby

I have been very lucky so far. Sure, Harley was born too early and had to be in the NICU for weeks, but she wasn’t sick in there. She was just small and needed to grow before she could come home. Once she came home, she was healthy if not always happy, and she has been doing better and better every day. Until yesterday.

Yesterday was time for visit to the clinic. She was weighed (4.9kgs!) and got her shots. Last time the sister warned me that some babies don’t feel well after their immunizations – they get a fever and feel poorly. I bought a thermometer and Panado just in case, but she was totally fine last time. This time? Not so much.

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1 Comment Parenting