Browsing Category: Parenting

Why my baby will be “alternative”

August 28, 2015 Zoe

I am open to whoever Harley turns out to be. If she wants to wear pink and play with barbies, or wear jeans and converse and play in the mud, or even wear her pink dress in the mud as compared to staying clean inside in her overalls while reading a book – whatever this little child wants to do with herself is pretty cool with me. However, I have some alternative ideas about how I want to dress her as a baby, and the sorts of things I want at her baby shower. It’s all part of my grand plan.

For the first few months of the baby’s life, people will relate to her based on how she looks. She won’t be able to express herself and will instead be assumed to have traits depending on what she wears, her toys and whatever random stuff she decides she needs to carry around everywhere. However, the interactions with adults that she has at this stage are integral to her development; the words she hears, the tones and facial expressions will all help her understand the world around her. If she is dressed only in typical baby clothes, people will respond to her as a typical baby. However, by dressing her in fun and outrageous clothing, people will be far more likely to use higher level vocabulary when talking to her, as well as laugh a whole lot more – which is great for her development. Continue Reading

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3 Comments Geek, Parenting, South Africa

On being a good enough mother (or wearing many hats)

August 27, 2015 Zoe

I love hats. I think I was blessed with a face for them, and I adore wearing hats of all kinds. My mom used to laugh at me when I started getting into my hat thing, mainly because I would wear my hats even when at home, while watching TV. But this isn’t a post about my weird fashion interests, it’s about trying to figure out how to be everything all at once.

I like to think that I’m a pretty good wife. My husband and I are happy and I do whatever I can throughout the day to think of him and do nice things. From running the errands that I know he hates to do himself, to ensuring his favorite snacks are stocked in the pantry, to pre-ordering the latest Collector’s Edition of a From Software game, it’s about doing all the things both big and small to make him smile. It makes me happy to make him happy, and he generally strives to do the same for me. Continue Reading

Comment Parenting

Good Enough Motherhood Parenting

Dreams for a bun in the oven

August 18, 2015 Zoe

Even while being worried last night about what the future might hold, I had a brief glimmer where I imagined holding that little baby in my arms. It was exactly what I needed and a beautiful moment to pause and realize that in a few short months, the life I’m growing inside me will be out in the world. And in that same moment, it made me think about when he or she is out in the world at large. The little life that isn’t even fully formed yet, growing inside me, will one day go out and talk to people, make friends, fall in love and maybe travel the world.

I have all these things I want to do with the little rugrat while he or she is growing up. I want to read all my favorite stories with him or her, as well as teach mythologies of all kinds. I’d love for the kid to be fluent not just in Greek or Norse mythology, but also in Lovecraftian mythos and Star Wars lore. It’s the combination of all those ways of explaining the universe that help us create our own mythology; our own way of interpreting the world and how we want to behave. Continue Reading

Comment Geek, Parenting, Pregnancy

Baby Daydreams Future

Happy? Who’s happy?

August 17, 2015 Zoe

There was a running joke in my family for years. You see, my parents didn’t get along well with their parents, and the acrimonious relationship led to some rather awful comments over the years. Now, I’m not entirely sure what the context was or even whose parents said it, but all I know is that at some point my parents were arguing that they just wanted to do something and be happy together, to which one of their fathers said, “Happy? Who’s happy? You think your mother’s happy?”

It’s one of those awful quotes that made us laugh for far too many years as we wondered how anyone could be so blatantly and proudly unhappy. It’s been a joke we whip out whenever one of us is saying how something might make us unhappy, or how all we want is to be happy about something. Continue Reading

3 Comments Parenting, Rambling

Happiness Parenting Research

How do you raise a book worm?

August 14, 2015 Zoe

I learned how to read at a rather young age, and I still consider myself an absolute book worm. In those rare moments when I don’t have a book to read, I feel adrift and lost, even if I barely have time to read and only manage a couple pages (or sentences) a night sometimes. But I’ve always loved reading, and it’s a gift that I want to pass on to my kid.

I read an article about why reading is so good, and basically the reason is… all the reasons. Reading is good for building empathy, improving social skills, lowering older people’s risk of dementia; the list seems to just go on and on. I love to read, and I read books across a range of genres. But how do I pass that on?

My first way is quite obvious – I will definitely read to the kid every night. I have grand plans for all the books that I want to read to the little munchkin, from large scale works to adorable bedtime stories. But is that enough? That might make bedtime more fun, and teach the kid that being read to is loving, but how do they make that leap to wanting to read by themselves, and continue to enjoy it?

I remember reading a comment from Neil Gaiman about that moment when his youngest kid was no longer interested in reading with him. She wanted to finish The Lord of the Rings by herself instead of reading it together. He was both incredibly saddened by the fact that he wouldn’t get to read the book to the end with her, but also so proud that she was ready to read it by herself, and wanted to do so.

I suppose that’s what I want one day, and I just need to figure out how to achieve it. I’m sure reading together is a big part of it, but will it matter that I’m the only one who reads for pleasure while my husband doesn’t? Does it matter whether we encourage reading in digital or physical format? There are still so many years to go, and I’m sure even more awesome kids books will be on the market by then, but I suppose it’s all part of the teaching that this poor little one will be subjected to. Geez, between all the games I want him/her to play, and all the Disney movies Dean wants to watch with him/her, I’m definitely going to need to carve out a chunk of the day for books. And, you know, all the other activities kids will need and want to do.

8 Comments Geek, Parenting

Book Worm Parenting