Tag Archives: Motherhood

Baby also wants a break

April 19, 2016 Zoe

Harley is finally big enough and has a strong enough neck that she can sit in her little seat or her walking ring. While her feet don’t quite touch the floor yet in her walking ring, she’ll lean to one side or the other and kick her little legs, pushing herself backwards. She thinks it’s great fun until she can’t push anymore, at which point we need to bring her forward again so she can push backwards again. It is absolutely adorable, and is a much needed break from holding her for me.

I am really enjoying this phase she’s in at the moment. Yes, she’s currently in a leap and not sleeping that well, but she is adorable when she’s awake and much more interactive. Plus, she clearly loves her chair and her walking ring, as well as tummy time and being nestled into the couch next to me and Dean. It seems that just like I love my cuddles but also get tired of holding her, she loves being held but also gets tired of it and wants to be on her own a bit. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Parenting

Does my baby like me?

April 18, 2016 Zoe

Harley has started smiling, and it’s about the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. She is so cute, and that toothless smile is so pure and genuine – it’s amazing to see the most innocent joy cross her face. She loves to smile and is doing it more and more these days. I find myself acting like a circus act or something, willing to make all kinds of silly faces or sounds if it will make her face light up with a huge grin.

It also means that it’s becoming more clear what she likes and doesn’t like. She doesn’t just stare at things that interest her – she can now smile at it. She loves to smile at the TV, or my beer bottle, and she gives the biggest grins to her daddy. She does smile at me, but I often find myself trying to gauge how much she smiles at me. Does she recognize me? Does she like me? Continue Reading

6 Comments Parenting

Baby Love Motherhood

This is how you play video games with a baby

April 13, 2016 Zoe

While I’ve managed some gaming time since Harley was born, it’s not the way it once was. I can’t wear a headset because I need to be able to hear if she cries, and I can’t really play online either because if she needs me she can’t wait while I finish a mission. I managed to get in some single player gaming, but as Harley has grown the way that works has changed. Sure, it’s best to play while she naps, but I’m also learning to hold her and play at the same time – I even managed to play a game while nursing her the other night.

But the best way is if someone else can hold your baby for a bit. At least, I like it because it means I can sort of focus on playing (even if Harley still always has some of my attention) and just relax and have fun. Plus, most people like the chance to hold Harley. I saw most people, because this video with Sam is quite possibly my new favorite thing. Continue Reading

2 Comments Gaming, Geek, Parenting

Gamer Gaming Geek

Failing as a Work at Home Mom

March 8, 2016 Zoe

I love the term “Work at Home Mom” (WAHM). It’s much more accurate than working mom, or stay-at-home mom. I’m working, and mothering, from the home, and the onomatopoeia of the acronym works well too – it’s the sound of your energy hitting the floor by the end of the day.

Today marks a full week that I’ve been back at work. It hasn’t been easy. Okay, that’s sort of an understatement, as is “it’s going to take some getting used to”. The reality is, working from home with a baby to take care of is ridiculously hard. There are the odd moments when Harley sleeps and I’m able to focus on the work I want and need to get done. But most of the time, she is wanting my attention just as much as my work is, and I end up feeling like a failure on both accounts. Continue Reading

7 Comments Parenting, Rambling

bad mother Motherhood Parenting

How I started to fall in love with my baby

February 8, 2016 Zoe

About three weeks ago, I wrote a rather miserable post. I was tired, frustrated and totally befuddled by Harley. She would cry and I would panic – what was I supposed to do to fix it? I only really liked her when she slept, and I felt like a horrible mother for it. I started by forgiving myself and accepting that a mother’s love didn’t have to be the typical image we see of it, but just that I kept trying to help her, even when I was clueless. But things really started to get easier when Harley started breastfeeding once she hit her due date; the power of nursing can’t be stressed enough for me. It makes me feel close to her, and gives me more agency because I feel there is something I can physically do to stop her crying, more than just shoving a bottle in her mouth.

But while things were improving, the process of falling in love with her was also moving along. Our massage class helped so much, and continues to help. It’s so great learning new things that I can do with her. I had planned on reading to her, playing games and other activities as she got older, but when she’s just a blob it felt like I couldn’t really do much with her. Now, we play with massages, physical games, songs, and tummy time. I can’t believe the surge of pride I feel when I see how strong she is, how I keep telling anyone who will listen that she’s going to be a genius. Slowly, I’ve realized that I’m growing to love her. Continue Reading

2 Comments Parenting, Rambling

bad mother Breast Feeding Breastfeeding