Tag Archives: Motherhood

What a visit from my mom taught me about how I want to mother

mothering a mother

It has been an interesting journey, this mothering thing so far. I’ve thought about a range of things, from not letting my baby “cry it out”, how I gauge our time together, how I assess her progress, and even when and how I will start weaning her. I knew I wanted to raise a genius and a bookworm, as well as a woman who is strong and empowered while still compassionate and loving. I have so many big dreams for Harley, and so many ideas about parenting. But the latest visit from my mom has solidified a bunch of them, and expanded some others even more.

A bit of context – my mom and I are close. We have obviously had our fair share of squabbles or whatever – I don’t know any woman who matures to adulthood without having the teenage fights with her mom – but we got very close when my parents divorced. After my traumatic birthing story, we talked every day on Skype, and have continued to do so ever since. So we are “caught up” as far as telling each other the day to day stuff goes, but also as far as talking about the bigger issues or stories. But it’s still so different being in person. Continue Reading

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Stop asking about solids

baby solids

I don’t know what it is about becoming a mom, but suddenly it seems that everyone feels entitled to tell women what to do. I’ve had complete strangers tell me that I needed to put a hat on my baby, or socks, or to not bundle her up so much. Excuse me, but don’t you think her um, MOTHER would know what she needs?

At the moment, Harley is five months old. She is exclusively breast fed and gloriously chubby. I mean, really chubby. She even has fat rolls at her wrists and her ankles. Her growth  has continued to impress the sister when I take her to get weighed, and she is absolutely thriving. It is an incredible feeling for me – breast feeding has done so well for her. She went from being a tiny little preemie, to being a healthy chunky monkey. I am so grateful to be able to provide for her, to be able to give her the best possible food, and to be setting her up for a future of fewer allergies, illnesses and other issues. However, plenty of people have other opinions. Continue Reading

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I had the best first Mother’s Day

Baby with controller

I was so excited for Mother’s Day this year, because it was my very first as a mommy. I’ve always enjoyed Mother’s Day as a day to treat my mom, to make her feel special and hopefully make sure she knows just how much I love and appreciate her. That’s why for my first Mother’s Day, I was so happy that she was here, able to celebrate with me. Obviously Harley is too young to know what yesterday meant, but it was still such a special day. While I was spoiled with delicious treats, it was something else that made it such a special day.

Despite being in the early stages of teething, and struggling with intermittent pain the past few days, Harley was remarkably delightful yesterday. She was full of smiles and laughs, enjoying all her time with her mommy and daddy, her omi, her granny and grandpa, her auntie Kelly, and her godparents. She was so adorable, and we had glorious cuddles and fun together. Becoming a mommy has been such a crazy journey, and it’s only just begun, but my first Mother’s Day just solidified that this was truly the right life choice. Continue Reading

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Is breastfeeding making my psoriasis worse?

psoriasis after birth

I absolutely adore breastfeeding Harley. It may sound silly or weird, but it has been an incredibly fulfilling journey so far. It’s so gratifying to see her gaining weight so nicely – those chubby cheeks and thighs all come from the food I’m able to give her. It has been wonderful for bonding, and even though it’s hard not to be able to leave her alone much, it’s all worth it for the moments she looks up and smiles at me while nursing, or falls asleep in my arms. For the most part, I’ve been extremely lucky – I haven’t had cracked nipples, I haven’t struggled with milk supply, and I’ve only had a couple blocked ducts. But I have been facing a totally unexpected difficulty, my skin.

You may or may not know that I suffer from psoriasis. It’s not horribly severe, and I can usually manage it without any prescriptions. I even gave advice about doing so for a fashion/lifestyle blog [As the blog is no longer around, you can find my advice over here].

However, despite doing all the things that I know help, my psoriasis has flared and seems to just be getting worse. I’ve done all the things that I know can help, except for light treatment, and nothing is working. The only thing that I can think of is that the breastfeeding is making my skin dry out. Continue Reading

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Quality vs quantity time

quality vs quantity time

I cannot say it enough – I am incredibly lucky to be a work-at-home mom. It’s a lot of work and has its own unique challenges, but it does mean that I’m around to spend time with my little one during the day. I still have guilt about how I spend my time, particularly when I’m busy during the day and not feeling like I’m giving my best to my job or my kid. However, for the most part, I’ve found my rhythm that seems to work best for me and Harley.

But I do wonder about the question of quality time vs quantity time. The concept of quality time is one that I hear about often, mostly recently being reminded of it in a blog from The Blessed Barrenness. She wrote about feeling guilty that her quality time with her kids is spent preparing meals together, or washing the car or reading stories instead of extravagant memorable events. She then had an epiphany that this kind of time with her kids is exactly the best thing – she’s having quality time with them and that’s what really matters. While I agree with her that she’s doing exactly the right thing, I think I’d use a different term. Continue Reading

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