Browsing Category: Featured

If parenting a newborn were a video game

When it comes to a newborn, “parenting” feels a bit like a misnomer. I mean, there are some things I’m doing to try to develop her little mind, to introduce her to the world, but mostly I seem to fall into an endless cycle of changing nappies/cleaning her, feeding her and getting her to go to sleep. She is only awake for a little while at a time, and most of that time is spent looking after those baser needs. However, there can be more to it, and in the early hours of the morning, I start to think of it as a video game.

Seeing as it keeps me entertained, I thought I would share the various genres of games that I think parenting falls under at this fragile age. I’m sure as she gets older, it will take on more tactical elements and perhaps some elements of psychological thriller or horror, but for now most of her parenting falls into these genres.
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2 Comments Gaming, Geek, Parenting

Due date and on the boob

Yesterday was Harley’s original due date. Having had her around already for eight weeks, three of which at home, it’s hard to think that all this time she was still meant to be growing inside me. She is still tiny, but has grown so much already. She is actually like a “normal” newborn now, and is acting like it more and more. Sure, she still has her issues, but she doesn’t seem nearly as tiny and difficult as she was.

Or maybe I just feel that way because she has finally started breast feeding consistently. All weekend, I could just pop her on the boob instead of needing to pump and then give her a bottle. Okay, “pop her on the boob” might sound easier than it actually was – she still cries and struggles when hungry, needing to first be consoled before I can convince her that latching on a nipple is her best life choice – but it’s made life way easier. Plus, it’s had a bonding side effect. Continue Reading

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2 Comments Breast feeding, Parenting

After paternity leave

I am quite lucky with maternity leave. I have been given three months off work, and even when I return to work I will be working from home which should hopefully be manageable while still looking after Harley. I’m sure it will be tough, but hopefully by then I will know what I’m doing with her even more than I do now and can find some sort of daily rhythm that works for me, her and productivity.

Dean, however, had to take leave in order to be with me for two weeks. He had already used his “family responsibility” leave when I was in the hospital, but I really wanted him home when Harley arrived, and it made a huge difference. It’s been great having him around, but it’s also so hard to believe it – he went back to work today. His paternity leave is over, and now he is back at work and I’m alone with Harley for most of the day. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Marriage, Parenting

What is (a mother’s) love?

The love and support following yesterday’s post was a huge relief. It was so reassuring to know I’m not the first person to resent or despise her child during the newborn phase, or really during any point in her life. The exhaustion, frustration and responsibility is enough to get to anyone; sleep deprivation is bad enough, but when combined with a bundle of need it’s made that much worse.

In my post, I mentioned feeling like a bad mother. I mean, a mother’s love is supposed to be enormous, unconditional and immediate. Moms aren’t supposed to be irritated to the point of wanting to run away, are they? But there was a lovely comment that I received yesterday, and it reframed my thinking on this. The love of a mother for her child is different from the love experienced for a partner, obviously, and it’s changing my thinking about love in general. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Parenting

Things we shouldn’t say: I despise my baby

Parenthood is such a lonely experience. Sure, there are tons of groups and blogs and communities to get involved in, but at 3am when you’re sitting with a screaming baby, you’re on your own. But that’s not even loneliest part about it; the worst part is that somehow, I’ve felt like I’m the only one who feels this way. Maybe I am, or maybe people are liars, or maybe nostalgia makes parents forget, but dealing with a newborn/preemie is absolutely awful.

Sure, there may be sweet moments, but when you’re sleep deprived and drained, there is only so much you can take. Well, only so much that I can take. And while Harley is objectively gorgeous and adorable, she seems way less so when she has been crying and screaming and robbing me and Dean of our rest and our sanity. Instead of staying quiet about it, feeling like I’m the only one, here’s what it’s really like even two weeks later with a baby who shouldn’t have even been born yet. Continue Reading

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34 Comments Parenting, Rambling