Browsing Category: Marriage

Mother F-er (baby edition)

sex

Back when I was pregnant, I wrote about sex. At the time, things were a bit weird and awkward. My libido was pretty much normal, and physically I was enjoying sex more than ever thanks to increased blood flow below the waist. However, Dean and I were both struggling with some psychological issues with sexy time – it was weird that my orgasm would give Harley the same chemicals to her brain as it does to mine, and Dean didn’t like that proximity of his member to the tiny baby inside me. I was worried that this was a taste of what was to come. Were we going to develop a madonna/whore complex together, making future intimacy impossible?

Since Harley has been born, things have changed, obviously. I am way, way more tired than I ever imagined that I would be. I knew that a baby would be tiring, but it’s exhausting in a whole other way. You see, it’s not just sleep deprivation. In fact, Harley is mostly sleeping through the night, only waking up once or twice for quick feeds and then back to sleep. However, after a day of bouncing, singing, reading, changing nappies, nursing and whatever else, I am pretty much shattered. When the little on goes down for the night, I’m not far behind on getting into bed. I hardly ever even read before sleep, and finding time for intimacy is more tricky, but not impossible. Continue Reading

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How a baby has changed my marriage, 4 months in

Today, Dean and I are celebrating our anniversary. Four years ago, we got married. Nine years ago, we started dating. It’s hard to believe how many years we’ve been together. On the one hand, it has gone so fast. On the other, I can’t imagine my life without him. Nine years of seeing his face and he still makes me smile. Nine years on, and my life is so much better for having him as my partner. Having a baby certainly has changed things, though.

The early days were hard. Like, really hard. Dean was an amazing partner to have; he focused on taking care of me so that I could take care of Harley. He took two weeks off for paternity leave, helping me figure things out when we brought Harley home from the hospital. He cooked us dinner, cleaned the house and generally just did everything to help and pamper me so that I could take care of the baby when she was still so new. But then he had to go back to work, and we had to find a new routine. Continue Reading

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Batman v Superman: a first night out

Last night, Dean and I attended the premiere for Batman v Superman. It was our first night out without the little one since we brought her home. I was nervous about leaving her, worried if she’d be okay and how the night would go. But I’m so glad we went, even if my feelings about the movie are mixed.

It used to be that going for a night out was a fairly easy affair, but obviously those days are long gone. Now, with a kid to look after, there was quite a bit more thought that had to go into things. We had confirmed with Dean’s parents that they’d look after Harley, so at least finding a sitter wasn’t one of those worries. Still, it wasn’t easy. Continue Reading

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How the first three months of motherhood have changed me

changed

Three months ago today was my last day as a non-mom. I didn’t know it at the time, but the next morning I woke up with seizures, had to have an emergency c-section and became a mom eight weeks early. A lot has changed in the past three months – physically, mentally… No, not a lot has changed, everything has changed.

It’s hard to believe it’s been three months; on the one hand it feels like forever, and on the other hand it feels like yesterday. Beyond the incredibly apparently changes in Harley, I’ve seen such changes in myself. So, with her birthday nearly upon us, these are the changes that I’ve seen in myself in the past three months. Continue Reading

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The dinner conundrum

Harley is growing so nicely, it’s amazing to see her put on weight and thrive just on my breast milk. It makes me feel so good to know that my body can feed another little body. Of course, I need to feed myself to make that possible, and I’ve been doing my best to eat well. However, I have a dinner conundrum.

While she is doing better, Harley still has her most needy and difficult time in the evenings. I usually spend the majority of the time between 5-9pm nursing, cuddling, bouncing, burping and otherwise looking after the little one. It’s the most inconvenient time – not only do I miss out on quality time with Dean, I’m also unable to do much to help with dinner. Dean is pretty wonderful about doing the cooking, but it’s not exactly an easy set up. Continue Reading

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