Browsing Category: Rambling

Mourning after the death of 49 babies

June 14, 2016 Zoe

I’ve been trying to avoid thinking too much about the events in Orlando. Here in South Africa, I could be a world away, and yet it’s feeling deeply personal this time. I feel it on so many levels, and I wasn’t sure why this mass shooting felt so much harder than previous ones. But then I saw a post that made me realize why.

My Facebook is filled with outrage, support, memorials and other posts. But this one nearly brought me to tears this morning. In the early hours of the morning, the young man texted his mom to say he loved her. He was hurt, hiding in the bathroom and ultimately gunned down. And I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, holding my little princess Harley, feeling like I can barely breathe. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Pinterest.
Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

11 Comments Rambling

Promiscuous feminists, rape culture, bathrooms and mothering a daughter

June 9, 2016 Zoe

I tried to write this post yesterday and failed miserably. Maybe it’s because I felt like there was a lack of focus to my post, or maybe because there were so many things I wanted to write about. It felt like a jumbled mess and I wasn’t sure how to share it. But then I realized that just because my thoughts are a jumbled mess doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share them. So, here’s what I’m thinking about at the moment, mostly inspired by the whole Stanford rape case situation.

It starts with location. I remember when I was getting ready to move to South Africa, I was very aware that Joburg was the rape capital of the world – not exactly an accolade for the city. I was worried that I would become a victim, that South Africa would feel more dangerous than any other place I’ve ever lived. Luckily, I still live a very safe life, but I am aware of the risks in this country. Then again, I’m no more aware here than I was growing up in New York City, or living in LA or any other city. It’s an awareness and vigilance that women worldwide need to have. Continue Reading

8 Comments Parenting, Rambling, South Africa

baby girl Feminism Motherhood

On being authentically myself

June 6, 2016 Zoe

We often hear the advice when people are going on dates or for job interviews or any other first impression situations – “just be yourself”. As if you could be anyone else anyway. But nevertheless, I still have been asked a lot about how I’m so open on this blog. I talk about so many things, from parenting woes to post-baby sex to postpartum depression. And yet, I hesitate every time I post a picture (or video) of Harley online. It’s a strange balancing act, but an important one.

There were many years when I would try to fit in. It’s not that I would change who I was, but I did try to adapt to my environment a bit more than might have been necessary. Each time I reclaimed my true and authentic self, it felt like I could finally breathe again. It’s part of why I love the geek and gamer culture so much – it’s a bunch of weird and wonderful people who get excited about niche things and don’t try to hide it. It’s why I hope for Harley to be a natural born geek – not just because I hope she finds some of those gaming or geeky things interesting, but because I want her to embrace those things that might make her different without ending up feeling weird. But I have to lead by example. Continue Reading

1 Comment Rambling

Alternative American in South Africa Being myself

Happy half birthday, Harley

June 1, 2016 Zoe

Today, June 1st, Harley is six months old. I can’t believe six months have passed. I can’t believe it’s already half a year. I can’t believe how much she’s grown, how much her personality is starting to show, how much we’ve fallen in love with each other. She definitely isn’t a newborn anymore, so in celebration of her half birthday, here’s a bit about what Harley’s up to now.

It’s not just about milestones, it’s about discovery for Harley. She loves sitting up. She’s not really perfected it yet, planting her hands in front of her to help hold her up, making her sit sort of like a frog. It’s too adorable, though. And she wants to sit on her own, she is determined to figure it out. She also loves her walking ring, especially in the kitchen or the lounge where she can scoot around more easily (tiles as compared to carpeting). Continue Reading

2 Comments Rambling

How could I already forget?

May 30, 2016 Zoe

Harley is my cuddly little bear. She seems to be getting a bit clingy, which honestly is fine by me considering this weather – it’s so nice to cuddle up with her and keep each other warm and happy. While she is hitting milestones and definitely growing up, I still see her as my tiny little person, my little baby. But this weekend I realized that she really isn’t so little anymore.

We went to go see our friends on Saturday to meet their tiny person who may or may not already be betrothed to Harley (their surname is Davids, so if she marries him she’ll be Harley Davids… and if she has a son with him he’d be Harley Davids’ son. That’s enough reason for an arranged marriage, right?). He was only 12 days old, and weighed less than 4kgs. He was beyond tiny, and adorable, and helpless – just a little newborn. I got to hold him, and it was amazing to remember that Harley was that big not so long ago. In fact, she was way smaller. How could I have already forgotten how that felt? Continue Reading

1 Comment Rambling

Baby baby girl Bonding