Something’s gotta give, or risk burning out

burning out

I feel like every other article I read is about moms burning out, about how overworked we are, about how depleted we are. There was this excellent one about post-partum depletion and the bounce back myth that says we need to stop expecting women (and ourselves) to get back to “normal” after having a baby. Another great read was this one about a working mom who finally put herself first, opting to get sleep and exercise and slow down a bit instead of working insane hours and then giving the rest of her life force to her family. Considering how much I’m seeing these articles shared on social media, I figure I’m not alone in feeling this way.

It’s not meant as a complaint, or a rant, or some sort of feminist tirade, but I do feel that we put unrealistic expectations on women. I know I put unrealistic expectations on myself. I still fully expect myself to be able to work like I did before I had a kid, to perform well at my job. I also want to be a stellar mom, spending quality time with my kid to help her grow and develop and learn. (Oh, and apparently the intensive motherhood that I want is great for baby but leads to higher rates of unhappiness amongst moms.) I still want to be a loving and helpful wife, make coffee in the mornings and dinner at night and be keen for alone time when Harley is asleep. Oh, and I also want to get back into shape, exercise and eat right. Plus, I know I need time to read books, watch series and play games. But there aren’t enough hours in the day, are there? Continue Reading

8 Comments Marriage, Parenting, Rambling

What I’m thankful for in 2016

2016 has been one hell of a year. As Dean likes to quote from internet memes, when we look back on the insanity of this year, we will probably say, “well, it all started with a gorilla”. And while it’s easy to look at all the chaos and death and crazy politics of this year and talk about what an awful time it has been, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on some of the good stuff from this year and my gratitude for what I have. I know it’s a silly Thanksgiving tradition, but I actually don’t think it’s so silly – we are all so busy, so consumed by our normal, day-to-day lives, it’s nice to pause for a moment and be thankful for what we have, what we experience.

There are so many things in my life that are normal, that I take for granted that are truly wonderful, special and something to be thankful for. I am grateful for my home; sure, it may be a bit small for our family and all our belongings, but we own property (through the bank) and have a safe and secure place to live. I am lucky enough to always have food to eat, even if I’m too lazy to cook and get takeaways instead. I have running water and electricity most of the time, and a car to get around in (with a safe car seat for Harley). These are all basic needs that are met and exceeded that I’m so thankful for. But there’s still loads more. Continue Reading

2 Comments Rambling

Yes, babies can cause carpal tunnel

Carpal tunnel

I had carpal tunnel when I was pregnant. Apparently it’s a fairly common thing thanks to retaining extra water and loosening ligaments – it’s something of a perfect storm for carpal tunnel. However, after giving birth, mine seemed to go away. The swelling in my hands went down, and I generally felt better. But then my right hand swelled up and was painful – my GP even did X-Rays and then assumed it was gout. But it wasn’t gout. Nope, it was the return of my carpal tunnel.

It is now really bad in my left hand, and moderately bad in my right hand. I’ve been to an occupational therapist and a physiotherapist for it. The joys of breastfeeding mean that I can’t take any strong medications for it, or even consider surgery at the moment, not that I really want to go for surgery for it. So what’s going on? Yes, I spend the majority of my day in front of a computer, but that’s not actually the root cause of my pain and suffering. Nope, that can be attributed to my ever-growing bundle of joy. Continue Reading

3 Comments Health

World Prematurity Day – An open letter to Harley’s NICU nurses

Dearest sisters,

I came around for a visit to the NICU with Harley yesterday, wanted to show off just how big she’s gotten. I wanted to show you all how far she’s come, how much she’s grown. I brought a cake and snacks and whatever else I could think of that would be nice for the team, a nice treat for all of you. But nothing I could buy, nothing I could give you could ever compare with what you gave to me. It was so wonderful seeing you all, taking pictures of you with an almost-year-old Harley – even if she did cry in all the pictures.

Growing up, I remember seeing donation tins for The March of Dimes. They used to be next to the check out counters in the drug stores in New York, and I would always look at them, but never really noticed what they were about. In fact, even last year I didn’t really pay attention to this day. I was already a mommy blogger, and I saw some of the other moms writing about it, but I don’t think I even read the posts. Oh how times have changed. Continue Reading

6 Comments Parenting, Preeclampsia, South Africa

Baby swimming lessons – for safety, development and fun

swimming class

Harley has been going for swimming lessons for a few months now, and I can’t get over how far she has come. I told you a while back when I reviewed her cool swimming nappy that I would tell you more about the classes themselves, and I feel like I’ve tested them for long enough to give you a detailed and honest assessment. Swimming lessons are quite possibly the best thing I ever could have done for Harley.

As we move into summer, I’m sure many of you will be heading to the pool. It’s a great way to cool down, to have fun as a family, and with the current water restrictions it can even help cut down on bath times. But I’m sure plenty of you are a bit nervous about your little ones in the water – when is it safe to start them swimming and how do you introduce them to the water, let along teach them how to swim? Well, thanks to the swimming lessons at Aqua Marine Aquatics Academy, not only is Harley doing well with all those things, but I also feel confident to hang out with her in the water. Continue Reading

3 Comments Parenting, South Africa, Sponsored