On being authentically myself

We often hear the advice when people are going on dates or for job interviews or any other first impression situations – “just be yourself”. As if you could be anyone else anyway. But nevertheless, I still have been asked a lot about how I’m so open on this blog. I talk about so many things, from parenting woes to post-baby sex to postpartum depression. And yet, I hesitate every time I post a picture (or video) of Harley online. It’s a strange balancing act, but an important one.

There were many years when I would try to fit in. It’s not that I would change who I was, but I did try to adapt to my environment a bit more than might have been necessary. Each time I reclaimed my true and authentic self, it felt like I could finally breathe again. It’s part of why I love the geek and gamer culture so much – it’s a bunch of weird and wonderful people who get excited about niche things and don’t try to hide it. It’s why I hope for Harley to be a natural born geek – not just because I hope she finds some of those gaming or geeky things interesting, but because I want her to embrace those things that might make her different without ending up feeling weird. But I have to lead by example. Continue Reading

How raising a daughter is making me rethink feminism

feminism kid

My mom was a hilarious feminist when I was growing up. We still laugh how when I was potty trained, she had offered to buy me ANYTHING I wanted, and I asked for a Barbie. This made her so conflicted, and she ended up buying me Doctor Barbie; when I’d comment on how pretty her hair was or her pretty dress, she’d tell me “She’s a physician, a respected member of the community!” – we still howl with laughter. When I was a bit older and wanted to wear eye shadow, she said that first we needed to “discuss the political ramifications of makeup”- one of my all time favorite phrases to this day.

It was all part of her quest to raise me as an empowered and confident woman, something that I want to do for Harley as well. While I’m not as worried about dolls or makeup, I am worried about the world I’m raising her in. I recently read a brilliant article about a mom’s take on the whole transgender bathroom debate. For her, it has nothing to do with bathrooms, she isn’t worried about  her daughter getting assaulted in the ladies room. No, she’s worried about the statistical likelihood that her daughter will be pressured into underage sex, or drugs, or drinking. She’s worried about the statistical likelihood that her baby will be violently raped before the age of 35, that she’ll be a victim of institutionalized sexism. Continue Reading

Happy half birthday, Harley

half birthday

Today, June 1st, Harley is six months old. I can’t believe six months have passed. I can’t believe it’s already half a year. I can’t believe how much she’s grown, how much her personality is starting to show, how much we’ve fallen in love with each other. She definitely isn’t a newborn anymore, so in celebration of her half birthday, here’s a bit about what Harley’s up to now.

It’s not just about milestones, it’s about discovery for Harley. She loves sitting up. She’s not really perfected it yet, planting her hands in front of her to help hold her up, making her sit sort of like a frog. It’s too adorable, though. And she wants to sit on her own, she is determined to figure it out. She also loves her walking ring, especially in the kitchen or the lounge where she can scoot around more easily (tiles as compared to carpeting). Continue Reading

This is not a nappy review: New Pampers Premium Care

pampers premium care

If you follow me on Instagram, and I hope you do, you’ll have seen that a couple weeks back I went to a nappy launch. It was really weird for me – I’m so used to going to game, phone or other tech related launches. But, high tea sounded like fun and I was curious to hear what Pampers had to announce. It turned out to be their new range of Premium Care nappies – the ones in the white packaging. I went home from the launch with a demo box and a bag of nappies to try out, so once I finished the open pack Harley was using, I started trying out these Premium Care ones.

I wasn’t going to write a feature about them, nor was I inclined to do a demo of the nappies. We all know that nappies can absorb blue-colored water. Besides, I’ve been on such a topsy turvy nappy journey already, I seem to have distinct requirements. You see, before Harley was born, I was convinced I’d go the cloth nappy route. Then she came premature and I had to use disposable nappies, and the only brand that made nappies small enough were Huggies. So I became a Huggies user sort of by default, but why not give this bag of Premium Care nappies a whirl on a real baby? Continue Reading

How could I already forget?

forget with time

Harley is my cuddly little bear. She seems to be getting a bit clingy, which honestly is fine by me considering this weather – it’s so nice to cuddle up with her and keep each other warm and happy. While she is hitting milestones and definitely growing up, I still see her as my tiny little person, my little baby. But this weekend I realized that she really isn’t so little anymore.

We went to go see our friends on Saturday to meet their tiny person who may or may not already be betrothed to Harley (their surname is Davids, so if she marries him she’ll be Harley Davids… and if she has a son with him he’d be Harley Davids’ son. That’s enough reason for an arranged marriage, right?). He was only 12 days old, and weighed less than 4kgs. He was beyond tiny, and adorable, and helpless – just a little newborn. I got to hold him, and it was amazing to remember that Harley was that big not so long ago. In fact, she was way smaller. How could I have already forgotten how that felt? Continue Reading