Tag Archives: Marriage

The parable of the plugged duct

I haven’t updated this blog since my birthday, which was quite a few weeks ago. I had planned to write words more often, but somehow they just didn’t flow when I would sit down to write. I remember my mom saying that Writer’s Block was usually more a result to censoring oneself – it’s hard to find anything to write about when certain topics are off limits. And I suppose that was part of the problem. I had ideas of what I wanted to write for New Year’s, but I woke up on the first of January with a blocked milk duct, which has been painful and occupying way more time and energy than I would have imagined.

Of course, now that it’s started to be relieved, I can only see it as something of a metaphor. I was blocked in what I wanted to write about, blocked in what I was willing to think about, and physically blocked in terms of what I could actually produce. As it’s slowly clearing (but not entirely and I’m totally open to all your blocked duct advice!), I’m slowly able to share more of the feelings that have been taking me on a rollercoaster the past couple weeks. Continue Reading

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A very mortal birthday

Today is my birthday. As of 7:30pm, I will have been on this planet for 31 years. It’s an odd birthday though.

Usually, I love for everyone to make a big fuss. I love to be well wished or congratulated by anyone and everyone, and I really enjoy big celebrations. I like to go out for a nice dinner and be made to feel super special on the day. It’s not so much about presents as it is about marking the day. And yet this year, it all feels a bit different, and my requests for celebrations are unlike what I’ve ever wanted. Continue Reading

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My rock and my edema

I know plenty of people who take their engagement rings and/or wedding rings off whenever they do dishes, put on moisturizer or whatever. I’ve even been told that it’s better to do so because it keeps your jewelry in better shape and helps avoid scratches, dulling and other issues. I’ve never been one of those people, though. From the time that Dean got down on one knee and asked me to marry him until now, I’ve only taken the ring off a handful of times. Since we exchanged vows and said “I do”, I can remember a single time I took my rings off (for cleaning). The rings and what they mean feel like part of me, so why would I ever want to take them off? Well, now I might not have much of a choice.

I am currently experiencing the joys of pregnancy edema. Like everything else awful that can happen during pregnancy, it’s totally normal. Basically, it just means that my feet swell up by the end of the day and I have to keep them elevated and drink plenty of water to try to keep the water retention at a minimum. However, the stiffness I was experiencing in my hands seems to be getting slowly worse, with my hands are starting to swell. Again, all totally normal and harmless, but it’s gotten to a bit of a sorry state. My fingers are now so swollen that I actually can’t get my rings off, which means that I had probably better do so, soon. Continue Reading

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Have I made a horrible mistake?

This morning, I am feeling particularly happy and excited about the baby growing inside me. I love her already, and she hasn’t even entered this world yet. She is growing inside my body, but also seems to be growing in the size she takes up in my head each day. There are still moments when I stop thinking about being pregnant, about what’s going on inside my body, but then there are the reminders that make me think about her again. Usually, that’s a good and exciting thing, but last night was different. Continue Reading

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How we decided to procreate

When Dean and I got married, everyone was instantly asking when we were planning on having a kid. In fact, we weren’t planning on spawning at all. We loved (and continue to love) each other very much and saw no reason to grow our little family. We just wanted to spend time together with our cats, and figured that we would never have kids. In fact, we had talked about it over the years we were together and agreed that we weren’t really all that interested in procreating. This is part of why everyone who knew us was so surprised when I announced that I was pregnant.

It was a big decision to make, and quite different to what we had thought about before. In actual fact, it was something of a gradual decision that evolved over a bunch of months, with a sudden leap towards the end. I know plenty of couples have no interest in breeding, and that’s totally cool, and others have zero doubt that they want to reproduce one day. Our journey was a bit more circuitous, but still ended up with some decisive moments. Continue Reading

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