Tag Archives: Motherhood

There is no dignity in motherhood

baby led weaning

Becoming a mom is a beautiful experience. I love my little girl, and most days I enjoy being a mom. It’s amazing the amount of love I feel for my little one, how deeply I feel for her, how profound the experience has been. Despite some ups and downs, I wouldn’t change it for anything. But that doesn’t mean it’s always pretty.

As I’ve mentioned, Harley is starting solids. That might be a bit of an overstatement, though. She doesn’t really eat yet. I actually don’t think she’s quite ready yet, so it’s more about the textures and experiences than it is about nutrition. That’s why I’m so glad that I’m going the baby-led weaning route – she gets to set the pace and we minimize the chance of making meal times traumatic for her or turning her into a picky eater in the future. Usually, I just offer her a taste of whatever I’m having, but today I thought I’d make her something just for her… but that doesn’t mean it was elegant to do so. Continue Reading

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Yup, I’m still myself

I'm still myself

Motherhood is a big deal, and certainly changes a lot. It’s why I write about baby stuff, and parenting, and motherhood, and a whole host of other topics. Motherhood has changed me in some ways – I am even more sensitive to certain issues and current events, and I spend a good portion of my day singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider instead of watching hilariously graphic YouTube videos. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not still the same person that I always was.

Awesome friend of this blog, Cassey Toi sent me a great link yesterday. The writer talks about how she isn’t a shadow of her former self, she’s still in there. And no, maybe she doesn’t go out drinking the way she used to, but she’s also in her 30s now. This bit in particular resonated for me: Continue Reading

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Feeling like a mommy

Feeling like a mommy

It’s such a strange thing to become a mom. From one day to the next, you become a mommy. It’s not just about creating a life, it’s about all the mental, emotional and physical things that means. I wasn’t quite ready to define myself as a mommy. I mean sure, I had made a person, but all the things that go along with that title didn’t quite seem to fit. But they do now.

Harley hasn’t quite developed separation anxiety, a normal thing in the coming phase of her life, but it’s getter there. She’s now happy to see me, excited when I smile at her. She doesn’t scream right when I put her down or give her to someone else to hold, but she is increasingly aware of me, of where I am and what I’m doing. She can’t say mama yet, but I can see it in her eyes. She knows who I am, and she’s happier when I’m with her. And I adore being with her, too… most of the time. Continue Reading

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Mourning after the death of 49 babies

I’ve been trying to avoid thinking too much about the events in Orlando. Here in South Africa, I could be a world away, and yet it’s feeling deeply personal this time. I feel it on so many levels, and I wasn’t sure why this mass shooting felt so much harder than previous ones. But then I saw a post that made me realize why.

My Facebook is filled with outrage, support, memorials and other posts. But this one nearly brought me to tears this morning. In the early hours of the morning, the young man texted his mom to say he loved her. He was hurt, hiding in the bathroom and ultimately gunned down. And I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, holding my little princess Harley, feeling like I can barely breathe. Continue Reading

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Promiscuous feminists, rape culture, bathrooms and mothering a daughter

stanford rape case

I tried to write this post yesterday and failed miserably. Maybe it’s because I felt like there was a lack of focus to my post, or maybe because there were so many things I wanted to write about. It felt like a jumbled mess and I wasn’t sure how to share it. But then I realized that just because my thoughts are a jumbled mess doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share them. So, here’s what I’m thinking about at the moment, mostly inspired by the whole Stanford rape case situation.

It starts with location. I remember when I was getting ready to move to South Africa, I was very aware that Joburg was the rape capital of the world – not exactly an accolade for the city. I was worried that I would become a victim, that South Africa would feel more dangerous than any other place I’ve ever lived. Luckily, I still live a very safe life, but I am aware of the risks in this country. Then again, I’m no more aware here than I was growing up in New York City, or living in LA or any other city. It’s an awareness and vigilance that women worldwide need to have. Continue Reading

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