Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Pregnant in a bikini

I like to think that I’m a fairly confident person. I have no problem speaking in public, meeting strangers, and I’m mostly comfy enough in my own skin to wear what I like and flaunt what I’ve got. At the same time, I’m still a woman, which means that I have my own obsessions about how I look and plenty of days when I think I’m too fat to wear anything other than certain dresses or whatever that I’m comfy in no matter what (every person needs those outfits). Being pregnant, and more specifically pregnant with a girl, has made me need to reevaluate a lot of my own body issues, and get over myself.

I have always had a round figure. I’m fortunate enough to have round “squishy bits” as my husband likes to call them (I hate when he calls them that, of course), so I tend towards an hourglass figure… although that cinched in around the middle bit isn’t generally as small as I’d like. In particular, I hate my stomach and I always have. Even at my thinnest/fittest/healthiest, I have found my stomach to be my least favorite body part. Now, though, it’s filled with a tiny human, and that makes it better, but I plan to do even better with my body image stuff. Continue Reading

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3 Comments Parenting, Pregnancy

Am I bad at being pregnant?

Pregnancy is weird. Or maybe I’m weird, or maybe it’s a combination of both. I haven’t had a particularly difficult pregnancy, knock on wood. I haven’t had a lot of the symptoms that would have made this experience much more unpleasant – no morning sickness, minimal breakouts and while I have some moody days, they aren’t as overwhelming and omnipresent as they could be. But I definitely go in waves about the whole pregnancy thing.

Don’t get me wrong, there are moments that are incredible. I love going for the scans and see what she’s up to in there. I love feeling her little kicks, even when they’re at 3am and I wish she’d just go to sleep. It’s incredible to think that she is growing in there, a part of me and then one day will be separate from me. I am growing a human, even if I sometimes joke that she’s just a parasite. It feels incredibly alien, but also amazing sometimes. But today I feel like I’m bad at it all. Continue Reading

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4 Comments Pregnancy

Because friendships matter

It’s weird that while growing a future human who will be related to me, I’m thinking more about friends than family. It’s not to say that family isn’t important – obviously having an awesome family can make a huge difference and I want to be the ultimate support structure for my little Harley. However, my thoughts have been going towards a lot of my friends lately, and how important they are in my life, how they keep me sane and make me laugh and I wouldn’t be the same without them.

When Dean and I were getting married, a lot of people were throwing around that cliche about marrying your best friend, and I would laugh at them. I adore my husband. There is no one else on this planet who I could wake up next to every day and never get sick of, who makes me laugh every day. Dean does his best to make me happy each and every day, which is something that I do for him as well. We are beyond compatible and I couldn’t ask for a better partner, but he isn’t my best friend. There is something different in a friend, which includes the ability to moan about that same awesome partner, which is absolutely invaluable. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Pregnancy, Rambling

The things we’re not supposed to say

I’m lucky enough to have grown up with a mom for a writer. I remember many years ago, talking to her about writer’s block and the horror of staring at a blank page/screen. How can it be that someone so creative, smart and/or interesting could be without any words? Her belief at the time was that it wasn’t that the person didn’t know what to say, but that they weren’t giving themselves permission to write what they were really thinking.

I don’t believe in censorship, although we all censor what we might choose to say on a regular basis. We do this to be diplomatic or tactful, to fit into societal norms, to keep people around us happy or a myriad other reasons. It’s normal and accepted and even encouraged. We’re supposed to be aware of our words and actions and the impact that they might have on others. This week has been filled with biting my tongue and not saying the things I’m thinking because I’m not supposed to say them. I suppose that’s why it’s been so hard to write this post today – I spent longer than I care to admit staring at the screen before I could get myself to start writing these words. So here are just a couple things I probably shouldn’t say. Continue Reading

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7 Comments Pregnancy

Hormones are real, too

It’s been odd lately how I don’t even realize that I’m having a particularly hormonal day until I start to cry over stuff that would never make me cry normally. Today’s realization came while watching the hilarious and thought provoking Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. I watch his videos every week and always adore them. This week’s one was as brilliant and hilarious as always, but it ended up making me cry.

I knew that I was feeling a bit sensitive today, but the hormones are really driving me nuts lately. I seem to cry for no reason, or over stupid crap. A couple weeks ago, I cried because I couldn’t find my absurdly gross and processed Kraft Mac N Cheese in the Spar that usually imports them. That’s right, I phoned Dean from the shops nearly in tears because I’d gone down every aisle and couldn’t get the mac n cheese that I wanted. I feel like the very definition of a pregnant woman/crazy person. And yet, there is some element of truth that is revealed when hormones are raging. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Pregnancy