Browsing Category: Parenting

The kind of mother I want to be

baby foot

I thought a lot about the kind of mother that I wanted to be. Before even going off the pill, I had ideas about the kind of education I wanted for my rugrat, the kinds of games I wanted him or her to play, and all the books and films I wanted to show him or her. I knew I wanted to be loving and warm and supportive. I was filled with all kinds of wonderful theories about raising a child, even as I realized that I was totally clueless. Being a mom isn’t quite what I expected… at least not at this age.

Okay, some things I’ve been able to follow through on… for the most part. In general, unless I’m on the brink of a breakdown, I don’t let my kid “just cry it out”. I don’t believe it’s healthy; it just teaches the child not to ask for help because they won’t be heard anyway. In fact, new research backs up my thoughts – the more cuddles the better, not just for infants but as they grow up, too. Of course, I sometimes beg Harley to stop crying for a few minutes, just so I can eat my meal or drink my coffee while it’s still hot. But it’s about being the kind of mother I want to be. Continue Reading

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Two months old today

Today, Harley is two months old. Sure, with her being born eight weeks premature that means she’s essentially a week old, but that’s also not entirely true. Her development, and mine as her mother, lies somewhere in between. Milestones are a bit odd for both of us – she is far and away ahead of where you’d expect a one week old to be, but not quite where a two month old would be either. Meanwhile, I’m slowly starting to fall in love with her every day, and finding my feet as a mom as well.

I still find it hard to think of myself as a mom. I obviously am one, but it hasn’t settled in as a way of defining myself just yet. While I take care of Harley, and mother her in the best way that I know how, it isn’t as innate a self descriptor as woman, gamer, geek, wife or friend is – I suppose that will come in time, just like her ability to smile in response to stimulus or grab things put in front of her. Continue Reading

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2 Comments Parenting, Rambling

If parenting a newborn were a video game

When it comes to a newborn, “parenting” feels a bit like a misnomer. I mean, there are some things I’m doing to try to develop her little mind, to introduce her to the world, but mostly I seem to fall into an endless cycle of changing nappies/cleaning her, feeding her and getting her to go to sleep. She is only awake for a little while at a time, and most of that time is spent looking after those baser needs. However, there can be more to it, and in the early hours of the morning, I start to think of it as a video game.

Seeing as it keeps me entertained, I thought I would share the various genres of games that I think parenting falls under at this fragile age. I’m sure as she gets older, it will take on more tactical elements and perhaps some elements of psychological thriller or horror, but for now most of her parenting falls into these genres.
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2 Comments Gaming, Geek, Parenting

Due date and on the boob

Yesterday was Harley’s original due date. Having had her around already for eight weeks, three of which at home, it’s hard to think that all this time she was still meant to be growing inside me. She is still tiny, but has grown so much already. She is actually like a “normal” newborn now, and is acting like it more and more. Sure, she still has her issues, but she doesn’t seem nearly as tiny and difficult as she was.

Or maybe I just feel that way because she has finally started breast feeding consistently. All weekend, I could just pop her on the boob instead of needing to pump and then give her a bottle. Okay, “pop her on the boob” might sound easier than it actually was – she still cries and struggles when hungry, needing to first be consoled before I can convince her that latching on a nipple is her best life choice – but it’s made life way easier. Plus, it’s had a bonding side effect. Continue Reading

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2 Comments Breast feeding, Parenting

After paternity leave

I am quite lucky with maternity leave. I have been given three months off work, and even when I return to work I will be working from home which should hopefully be manageable while still looking after Harley. I’m sure it will be tough, but hopefully by then I will know what I’m doing with her even more than I do now and can find some sort of daily rhythm that works for me, her and productivity.

Dean, however, had to take leave in order to be with me for two weeks. He had already used his “family responsibility” leave when I was in the hospital, but I really wanted him home when Harley arrived, and it made a huge difference. It’s been great having him around, but it’s also so hard to believe it – he went back to work today. His paternity leave is over, and now he is back at work and I’m alone with Harley for most of the day. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Marriage, Parenting