Browsing Category: Parenting

Exhaustion, blues, or postpartum depression?

January 11, 2016 Zoe

Harley and I have had a weird journey so far. Starting out under such traumatic circumstances, we didn’t get to have that typical “bond in the first moments of life” that I was hoping for/planning on while pregnant. Then she was in the NICU and I took on the role of supermom as much as possible – pumping to have her exclusively breast fed, holding her as much as possible and doing everything I could to be an awesome mom to her. Then she came home.

The first day with her was utterly terrifying. I mean, I knew how to do the basics like clean her, change her, feed her, etc. But to know what she wanted when she would scream and wail? Not so much. It was incredibly daunting, but as everyone promised, it did get easier. Then there was a rough night that left me utterly exhausted and I became convinced that Dean and I had made a terrible mistake having this child. She felt like an awful house guest who would never leave, and I was devastated. Thankfully that feeling passed, but I have been keeping tabs on my emotional state. Continue Reading

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5 Comments Parenting, Rambling

The power of teamwork

January 8, 2016 Zoe

I was and still am quite lucky – Dean managed to take two weeks off work to be at home while we figure things out with her. It’s always great to have him around, but it has been particularly helpful now. Having an extra pair of hands means that dishes get done, food gets cooked, and there’s the ability to tag out when baby stuff gets too much. We have been able to figure this whole parenting thing out together, and it’s been fantastic (in between the frustration and joy highs and lows).

I’m sure there will be more ups and downs – that’s what this journey is all about. However, I’ve loved the way that parenting already has brought us so much closer together. I already loved Dean, obviously, but watching him make faces at our little girl makes me melt. But there’s something even more that has made me feel closer to him than ever, and has made such a difference as a wife and mother. Continue Reading

2 Comments Marriage, Parenting

lucky girl Marriage Parenting

Lessons learned from the first 24 hours with an infant

January 7, 2016 Zoe

I finally have Harley home. In fact, as of the time of writing (or at least starting to write) this post, it’s been about 24 hours with her out of the NICU. It will still take a while to establish a new routine with her seeing as her NICU routine hasn’t really stuck since she’s been home. We have tried to maintain it to a degree, but there is no way that I’m waking her just to give her food at midnight or something. In fact, there’s no way that I’m going to wake her for much of anything unless she starts fussing or seems uncomfortable.

There is still so much to learn, and it will take a while to figure out what works best to keep her comfortable. I’m hoping Dean and I will also be more comfortable once the heatwave breaks – it will be way easier to cuddle with her and her baby blanket when it doesn’t feel like the fires of Mordor outside. Still, I have learned some things so far, that will probably be completely undone before I finish writing this. Continue Reading

11 Comments Breast feeding, Parenting

Infant Lessons NICU

One more sleep until my baby’s homecoming?

January 5, 2016 Zoe

Soloman Grundy might not have been a part of our thought processes when thinking about Harley originally, but he is coming to mind now that we are preparing to take her home. Born on a Tuesday, Harley is coming home on a Wednesday. That’s right, barring any unforeseen issues, we are able to drive to the hospital tomorrow and drive home with our little girl! After 36 days in the NICU, she is finally ready for her homecoming.

It’s exciting, exhilarating and more than a little terrifying. I have changed her nappy a bunch of times, bathed her, given her a bottle and breastfed her. So, I know I should be able to keep her alive what with being able to feed her, keep her clean and hopefully comfy. Of course, comforting her when she cries is still a bit hit or miss, although she is still a tiny little thing and I suppose that’s par for the course for a while. Still, at least I’ll get to figure that out at home instead of during NICU visits. Continue Reading

5 Comments Breast feeding, Parenting, Premie

Homecoming NICU Parenting

The parable of the plugged duct

January 4, 2016 Zoe

I haven’t updated this blog since my birthday, which was quite a few weeks ago. I had planned to write words more often, but somehow they just didn’t flow when I would sit down to write. I remember my mom saying that Writer’s Block was usually more a result to censoring oneself – it’s hard to find anything to write about when certain topics are off limits. And I suppose that was part of the problem. I had ideas of what I wanted to write for New Year’s, but I woke up on the first of January with a blocked milk duct, which has been painful and occupying way more time and energy than I would have imagined.

Of course, now that it’s started to be relieved, I can only see it as something of a metaphor. I was blocked in what I wanted to write about, blocked in what I was willing to think about, and physically blocked in terms of what I could actually produce. As it’s slowly clearing (but not entirely and I’m totally open to all your blocked duct advice!), I’m slowly able to share more of the feelings that have been taking me on a rollercoaster the past couple weeks. Continue Reading

1 Comment Breast feeding, Marriage, Parenting, Rambling

Breast Feeding Emotions Feelings