Tag Archives: Parenting

How much do babies cost?

October 26, 2015 Zoe

It’s sort of an accepted reality, right? Kids are ridiculously expensive (but apparently worth it). From the moment they are born (and even before) they cost money and that amount can only rise as they get older. It’s one of the big reasons that Dean and I held off on procreating for so long; it was sort of ingrained in both of us that we simply couldn’t afford it… until we decided that maybe we could. So, just how much does it cost to have a baby?

I’m not going to crunch ALL the numbers, and I’d really appreciate any input from parents who have gone through this – obviously you all know where the real hidden costs come in and what sort of things can be avoided or negated entirely. Still, it’s worth looking at, even with very loose and vague figures. Continue Reading

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8 Comments Parenting, Pregnancy

My job? Mommy/curator of the world

October 23, 2015 Zoe

When I started this blogging journey, I sort of promised myself that I would write every day of the week, unless work was chaos or I was traveling or something. There will always be a reason not to write, but by sticking to writing every day, I make sure I really look at what I’m thinking and feeling at any given point on this journey. Pregnancy isn’t easy, and I’m sure parenting won’t be, either. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse to not stay in touch with myself (and with all of you who read my words). Yesterday, though, I didn’t write, and here’s why.

I’m working hard on finding a balance between speaking my mind and also just keeping quiet. I have many feelings about what’s going on in this country, but I also know that no matter how much South Africa feels like home, I will always be a foreigner. I will always have a different perspective on all of this because I didn’t grow up here, I wasn’t raised with the same cultural baggage – I come with my own. Harley will be raised here, but hopefully she’ll at least be raised to see things from many different perspectives… but it’s still making me think a lot of about the way things have “always” been done. Continue Reading

5 Comments Parenting, South Africa

#FeesMustFall Parenting South Africa

South Africa and the privilege of casual racism

October 21, 2015 Zoe

It was only a few days ago that I talked about how much I adore being pregnant in South Africa. People here LOVE pregnant ladies in a way I haven’t seen in other parts of the world. Everyone has been so warm towards me and the random acts of kindness can bring a tear to my eye (even when I’m not hormonal). But there is another side to things, one that will be much more apparent once Harley is born, and recent current events are making me even more cognizant of the issues.

I was incredibly lucky growing up. I mean that in many ways, but for the sake of this post I’m looking at two specific things. First of all, I grew up with privilege – I lived in New York City, attended private school, went to summer camp and generally lived that “privileged” middle class life that people love to moan about. On the other hand, I was also raised by a mom who wanted to ensure that I grew up in a multicultural environment. I didn’t even understand the concept of race until I was already beyond the point of being a child, and the idea of racism truly never made sense to me. I went to schools where my friends came from a variety of racial, religious and even alternative backgrounds (even back in those days, I had a classmate with two mommies) and it was only once I moved overseas that I started to see and experience discrimination in a new way. I’d like for Harley to have a similar upbringing, but I’m not sure how possible that is in South Africa. Continue Reading

4 Comments Parenting, South Africa

Parenting Racism South Africa

Things I don’t want to do to my kid

October 15, 2015 Zoe

We all make rules to live by, and most of us eventually break them. I was SURE that I would only date a certain kind of guy, that I would only want a certain kind of marriage, that I would only be happy going to work in specific places. Basically, all those decisions I made as a teenager or in my early twenties have now totally disappeared, and I’m sure in many ways, the same will be true for motherhood. I’m trying to be pretty relaxed about the whole thing, and I’m not making anything set in stone but mostly built around whatever turns out to be best for Harley when she’s born. If she wants to suck her fingers, cool. If she prefers a dummy, that’s fine, too. I’m not too stressed about those things.

There are some things that I think I know for sure, though, and I reserve the right to unabashedly change my opinion many more times on the subject matter. I have strong ideas about stimulating her as a baby, about how to raise her to be a good person, about how to raise her to know about the world around her. I want to teach her how to read at an absurdly young age the way I was, so that she can find her love of reading early on. I want to be a good role model for her as a woman, and make it clear to her that she can do anything she wants, that her gender doesn’t play into it. I have all sorts of cool plans for things I want to do, but I also have plans for things that I never, ever want to do. Continue Reading

Comment Parenting

don't do don't want Parenting

When I plan to introduce my kid to Skylanders

October 1, 2015 Zoe

I recently reviewed Skylanders: Superchargers for my day job over on Lazygamer.net. I was expecting to be bored by it seeing as it’s developed to be a kid’s game, but I actually really enjoyed it. Plus, it made me even more excited to get to play it with Harley one day – there is fun co-op so that we can play together, and I think any kid will get a kick out of the humor and adventurous experience. Also, the characters show a lot of empathy, even for the bad guys, and it’s nice to see some cool ideas of friendship and cooperation reenforced in a game. I already explained some of the reasons why I want Harley to be a gamer when she grows up; from mapping and problem-solving skills to decision-making alacrity and an interest in mythology, gaming helps with all of that. But there’s always the question of how old she needs to be to start video gaming, and if all that screen time is good for her.

I started looking into this, especially after discussions this weekend where I was seen as a bit odd for being so intent on having specific kinds of stimuli for Harley from birth. I know what I want, and I want her to learn about all kinds of things from before she can walk or talk. There is so much that happens in a kid’s brain so very early on, and reading to her and playing games together will be a big part of that. But mostly these were based on experiences without a screen because so many people rant and rave that screen time is dangerous for every human. Well, not so much. Continue Reading

Comment Gaming, Geek, Parenting

Gaming Geek Parenting