Tag Archives: Working mom

Equality in parenting, a Women’s Day ramble reprised

Women's Day

Today is Women’s Day in South Africa. Last year, I wrote about it while pregnant, wondering how much equality there was in parenting. It was sort of a wondering blog, about feminism and parenting. I wondered just how much of the burden would be on me, just how much of the childcare would fall to me, and just how equal I could expect things to be even with the most loving and awesome husband. A year later, I have some answers, although I expect the answers will continue to change in the coming years.

So far, I do the lion’s share of the parenting. When Harley cries in the middle of the night, I’m always the one to take care of her. A big part of that is that I’ve got the boobs. I’m the only one in the marriage who is uniquely equipped to feed and soothe her. We tried the pumping thing, but once Harley started latching on the boob, she really and truly hated the bottle, so it simply isn’t a solution for us. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t some form of equality in how Dean and I handle things. Continue Reading

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It’s all about timing

timing

I’m feeling like I’m in a bit of flux at the moment. I’m not even sure flux is the right word. I guess I just don’t know whether I’m coming or going, and how things are proceeding, and how to plan my life. I know, I know, planning is pretty useless because things will always come up that I can’t plan for and will just have to deal with and whatnot. I know that all too well. But I also like to have an idea of a sequence of events, how I will strive to get from A to Z, and I’m feeling a little stuck at the moment due to too many things being up in the air.The “Z” at the moment is a couple things – I’d like for me and Dean to get to the States, for us to find gainful employment there, and for us to have a second child.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the timing of children and all that, and I really want Harley to be my baby for a long while. But I also know that I’m continuously getting older, and that I also sort of like the idea of sequencing when it comes to kids – by spawning relatively close together, mothers spend less time out of the work force, and also don’t have to deal with a decade of nappies/breastfeeding/horrible sleep. But the actual timing of it in our lives is getting me a bit crazy. Continue Reading

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Attachment parenting and the most important year

attachment parenting

I can’t stress enough how lucky I am. Sure, I have plenty of ups and downs and real life and troubles like everyone else, but I am incredibly lucky – I work from home. While it’s a lot of hard work, and I’ve struggled to find a balance at times, it has meant that I’ve been able to work and take care of Harley at the same time. She hasn’t needed a nanny or a creche; I have been her primary caretaker, her teacher, her entertainment, her jungle gym, her bed, her food source, so in a word – her mommy.

It hasn’t been easy, and I often felt like I was failing. Especially when Harley was even smaller than she is now, I wondered if it was enough to just hold her during the day while I worked, I would get frustrated when I didn’t know what was wrong or when I felt like I couldn’t help her. It’s gotten so much easier as she has gotten bigger and easier to understand, and a big part of that is because we both know that I can take care of her, even when I’m not totally sure how. But the more I read about attachment parenting, the more it sounds like what I’ve done with Harley naturally, and will continue to do cognizantly. Continue Reading

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Nothing is better than making my baby laugh

make my baby laugh

I love making people laugh. No, not enough to become a comic or something, and I no longer have dreams of pursuing a career in the performance arts. However, I love being able to crack people up, to make them smile, to make even the darkest and most horrible things that can happen in a life absolutely hilarious. I often say that Dean makes me laugh every day, and that’s why we work. But I have found my new favorite audience.

Sure, I love quick wit, and I adore truly intelligent comedy, but now I find myself not worrying about that. Instead, I will do absolutely anything to make my baby laugh. Her smiles are adorable, but her laughter is like crack – I need my fix! When she laughs, it’s as if everything is right in the world, and any sadness or frustration I might be feeling is utterly obliterated. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Breast feeding, Parenting, Rambling

Yup, I’m still myself

I'm still myself

Motherhood is a big deal, and certainly changes a lot. It’s why I write about baby stuff, and parenting, and motherhood, and a whole host of other topics. Motherhood has changed me in some ways – I am even more sensitive to certain issues and current events, and I spend a good portion of my day singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider instead of watching hilariously graphic YouTube videos. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not still the same person that I always was.

Awesome friend of this blog, Cassey Toi sent me a great link yesterday. The writer talks about how she isn’t a shadow of her former self, she’s still in there. And no, maybe she doesn’t go out drinking the way she used to, but she’s also in her 30s now. This bit in particular resonated for me: Continue Reading

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