Browsing Category: Rambling

Kids or friends

I have some wonderful friends. Some of them have come through for me in massive ways, supporting me while Harley was in the NICU, coming over for wine or meeting for lunches since she’s been home, and generally just being awesome and supportive. I remember trying to do the same when I had friends with babies – going to their house if easier, being the one to reach out more because I figured they were busy, that sorta thing. It just makes me sad to realize that I’m also losing friends now.

Before Dean and I decided we wanted to spawn a minion, he told me that I could choose, kids or cats. I opted for cats, and we have two adorable furry babies. Unlike those little ones, though, it seems that procreating has gotten in the way of my social life. At least for some friends. But I’m wondering how much of a bad thing that is. Continue Reading

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Missing something is the best sign

I went to an event yesterday. It was in the middle of the day, and ended up taking me away from home for quite a bunch of hours. I was so grateful to have my mom around – she was able to watch Harley and keep in the loop about how things were going so that I could just try to enjoy myself. After being out for over three hours, Harley was starving and my boobs were bursting and we had a wonderful reunion. But it was more than feeding time; I was missing her.

When I’ve missed her before, it was sort of like leaving the house without your bag. It felt like something was missing and I was worried the whole time. But now that Harley is developing her own personality, I actually missed her. Not the idea of her, not nursing or whatever else, I missed her silly smile and laugh. I wanted to cuddle her and love her. And it was the most wonderful sign for me. Continue Reading

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I’ve changed my mind about baby photoshoots

When I was booking my bed in the hospital, what feels like a lifetime ago, I was offered the option of having a newborn shoot done right in the ward. It was an opportunity to capture the baby’s earliest moments, and I politely declined. I’m still so glad that I did, because the pictures of Harley in the NICU make me so sad even though she is fine now. However, at the time when I declined, I had no idea I’d have a preemie, but I still didn’t want pictures of her then – I thought all babies had a face like a foot when they’re born and I didn’t want the typical clichéd photoshoot with her. I still don’t want the cliché, but I’ve changed my view of photoshoots in general.

Over on Tums 2 Tots, I wrote about the wonderful experience that I got to have with Salomé from Yellow Lab. She did an amazing photoshoot with me and Harley, and we had such a great time doing it. It was relaxed and fun, and I never once felt awkward about needing to feed the little princess or change her nappy. Instead of constantly apologizing for Harley being a baby, it felt welcomed and normal, which meant that I could breathe and just enjoy the experience. But even more than the fun experience, the final product has completely changed my opinion of baby photoshoots. Continue Reading

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What I love about my 5 month old

Harley is now five months old. It’s hard to believe that five months ago, Harley entered this world and I became a mom. It still makes me so sad to think about how it happened – it was so traumatic, not just for me and for her, but for everyone who loves us and was so worried about us. Having my mom here, I realize just how hard it was for her, too. But also, I see how much my life has changed, how happy I am in new ways, and how amazing it is to watch this little life grow up before my eyes.

Every day, Harley seems to master a new skill. From one day to the next, she’ll go from showing no interest in her toy to all of a sudden being enthralled by the look and sound of it. She has discovered her hands, and thanks to starting teething she loves shoving them in her mouth. She loves to smile, often giving me a huge grin when I take her out of her cot in the morning, or pausing from nursing in order to smile up at me. I’m no longer wondering if she knows who I am or likes me – those huge grins are proof enough that we are both madly in love with each other. Continue Reading

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Warning: erratic blogging ahead

I have prided myself on something since starting this little space on the internet. While occasionally I’ve blogged later than planned, since I’ve started I’ve only really “missed” days of blogging while in hospital or when I was far too sleep deprived to string a sentence together. Otherwise, every day of the week, I’ve posted a new blog filled with musings, news or whatever else. Not so for the past two days, and it makes me wonder how many more days of blogging I’ll miss in the coming couple weeks.

You see, my mom has arrived from the states. She’s here for the about 3 weeks, taking the opportunity to bond with little Harley and get to know the munchkin, as well as for us to obviously visit and spend our time together. While we aren’t busy with touristy stuff or anything, the day does seem to flow differently with her around. Then again, today we went to get our nails done, so that was rather different from how I normally spend my Thursdays. Yes, I took leave for today and tomorrow. Continue Reading

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1 Comment Rambling