Tag Archives: Love

Missing something is the best sign

I went to an event yesterday. It was in the middle of the day, and ended up taking me away from home for quite a bunch of hours. I was so grateful to have my mom around – she was able to watch Harley and keep in the loop about how things were going so that I could just try to enjoy myself. After being out for over three hours, Harley was starving and my boobs were bursting and we had a wonderful reunion. But it was more than feeding time; I was missing her.

When I’ve missed her before, it was sort of like leaving the house without your bag. It felt like something was missing and I was worried the whole time. But now that Harley is developing her own personality, I actually missed her. Not the idea of her, not nursing or whatever else, I missed her silly smile and laugh. I wanted to cuddle her and love her. And it was the most wonderful sign for me. Continue Reading

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I had the best first Mother’s Day

Baby with controller

I was so excited for Mother’s Day this year, because it was my very first as a mommy. I’ve always enjoyed Mother’s Day as a day to treat my mom, to make her feel special and hopefully make sure she knows just how much I love and appreciate her. That’s why for my first Mother’s Day, I was so happy that she was here, able to celebrate with me. Obviously Harley is too young to know what yesterday meant, but it was still such a special day. While I was spoiled with delicious treats, it was something else that made it such a special day.

Despite being in the early stages of teething, and struggling with intermittent pain the past few days, Harley was remarkably delightful yesterday. She was full of smiles and laughs, enjoying all her time with her mommy and daddy, her omi, her granny and grandpa, her auntie Kelly, and her godparents. She was so adorable, and we had glorious cuddles and fun together. Becoming a mommy has been such a crazy journey, and it’s only just begun, but my first Mother’s Day just solidified that this was truly the right life choice. Continue Reading

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I’ve changed my mind about baby photoshoots

When I was booking my bed in the hospital, what feels like a lifetime ago, I was offered the option of having a newborn shoot done right in the ward. It was an opportunity to capture the baby’s earliest moments, and I politely declined. I’m still so glad that I did, because the pictures of Harley in the NICU make me so sad even though she is fine now. However, at the time when I declined, I had no idea I’d have a preemie, but I still didn’t want pictures of her then – I thought all babies had a face like a foot when they’re born and I didn’t want the typical clichéd photoshoot with her. I still don’t want the cliché, but I’ve changed my view of photoshoots in general.

Over on Tums 2 Tots, I wrote about the wonderful experience that I got to have with Salomé from Yellow Lab. She did an amazing photoshoot with me and Harley, and we had such a great time doing it. It was relaxed and fun, and I never once felt awkward about needing to feed the little princess or change her nappy. Instead of constantly apologizing for Harley being a baby, it felt welcomed and normal, which meant that I could breathe and just enjoy the experience. But even more than the fun experience, the final product has completely changed my opinion of baby photoshoots. Continue Reading

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The moment it was all worth it

Maybe it was the postpartum depression, but I didn’t have that feeling of falling madly in love with Harley from the moment she was born. I loved her, but it was really hard in the beginning because I was so sick and she was in the NICU. Then we got her home and she was really difficult and it was a huge adjustment. But things have been getting easier with her, and she’s starting to show her personality, which is just such fun. Yesterday was a really hard day with her, and yet it was the day I finally had that feeling of being overwhelmed with love for her.

For those who follow the Wonder Weeks, Harley was in a leap week. She still sorta is, but yesterday was the worst of it – she was uncomfortable and upset and just seemed to cry the whole day. I had a lunch meeting, and normally I’d take her along with me, but I knew she would just scream and be a distraction and I needed to be at the top of my game. So I left her with her granny, and I felt horrible for doing so. Oh the joys of motherhood – so much guilt no matter what I do. Continue Reading

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Baby also wants a break

Harley is finally big enough and has a strong enough neck that she can sit in her little seat or her walking ring. While her feet don’t quite touch the floor yet in her walking ring, she’ll lean to one side or the other and kick her little legs, pushing herself backwards. She thinks it’s great fun until she can’t push anymore, at which point we need to bring her forward again so she can push backwards again. It is absolutely adorable, and is a much needed break from holding her for me.

I am really enjoying this phase she’s in at the moment. Yes, she’s currently in a leap and not sleeping that well, but she is adorable when she’s awake and much more interactive. Plus, she clearly loves her chair and her walking ring, as well as tummy time and being nestled into the couch next to me and Dean. It seems that just like I love my cuddles but also get tired of holding her, she loves being held but also gets tired of it and wants to be on her own a bit. Continue Reading

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