Tag Archives: South Africa

Unexpected sources of inspiration

Inspiration is a strange thing. Some people and things inspire us to be better humans, better parents, better workers… and while I typically know some things that can inspire me, I love being surprised at those things that bring out that magical spark in me. That is sort of the purpose of art, isn’t it? To reflect a part of ourselves or our society back at us, make us reassess who or what we are, and inspire us to become better versions of those things. Well, this most recent inspiration that I experienced came in a totally unlikely place.

You see, since starting this blog, I’ve started to be invited to events that aren’t just for gaming or tech. Not to downplay gaming or tech events – they are fun and often incredibly beautiful. But they feel extremely PR-oriented. They are built to make the journalists and blogggers in attendance take pictures of the pretty things and share on social media, to promote the brand. And while the people who work for those brands are often awesome and wonderful, the goal of their events is rarely to help connect people or make us feel special or important. But this mommy blogger event… it was very different. Continue Reading

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My baby is still being rejected by her country of birth

South African Home Affairs

When I got pregnant, one of the last things I was worrying about was the admin involved in Harley’s birth. I mean, babies are born all the time and they get birth certificates – it’s not even a question, right? Well, Harley is now seven months old and she still doesn’t have an ID, a birth certificate, or even a proof of baby registration, and it’s all because I’m foreign.

Yup, it’s my fault that Harley is in limbo, all because I dared fall in love with a South African while being from overseas. While I was pregnant, my residency permit was up for renewal. As usual, I contacted my immigration dude from Execuserve. I’d previously had issues trying to sort out Home Affairs things myself, so I used Andrew and typically didn’t have any issues. Anyway, Andrew submitted my application, just waiting on the police clearance and all would continue to tick over as normal. Except Harley needed to come early. Continue Reading

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12 Comments South Africa

Promiscuous feminists, rape culture, bathrooms and mothering a daughter

stanford rape case

I tried to write this post yesterday and failed miserably. Maybe it’s because I felt like there was a lack of focus to my post, or maybe because there were so many things I wanted to write about. It felt like a jumbled mess and I wasn’t sure how to share it. But then I realized that just because my thoughts are a jumbled mess doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share them. So, here’s what I’m thinking about at the moment, mostly inspired by the whole Stanford rape case situation.

It starts with location. I remember when I was getting ready to move to South Africa, I was very aware that Joburg was the rape capital of the world – not exactly an accolade for the city. I was worried that I would become a victim, that South Africa would feel more dangerous than any other place I’ve ever lived. Luckily, I still live a very safe life, but I am aware of the risks in this country. Then again, I’m no more aware here than I was growing up in New York City, or living in LA or any other city. It’s an awareness and vigilance that women worldwide need to have. Continue Reading

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8 Comments Parenting, Rambling, South Africa

Why we need to start thinking about emigrating

I love South Africa. It is my home and Dean and I have been very happy here. We have built a wonderful, comfy life with our little home, our cats, our daughter. We lead a pretty cushy lifestyle, too, with plenty of sushi, nights out, special gifts and whatever else our hearts desire. Both of us have fantastic jobs that we love, and we are just so happy. So why, why are we talking about emigrating?

Just a few months ago, I told all of you that we weren’t thinking about moving. Every country has its issues and there was no compelling reason to even look at leaving South Africa – why move when we have it so good here? Well, I still think that every country has its problems, and we  need to feel our way through this decision, but the more I think about Harley’s future, the more I think that we should probably move somewhere else. Continue Reading

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14 Comments Parenting

I’ve changed my mind about baby photoshoots

When I was booking my bed in the hospital, what feels like a lifetime ago, I was offered the option of having a newborn shoot done right in the ward. It was an opportunity to capture the baby’s earliest moments, and I politely declined. I’m still so glad that I did, because the pictures of Harley in the NICU make me so sad even though she is fine now. However, at the time when I declined, I had no idea I’d have a preemie, but I still didn’t want pictures of her then – I thought all babies had a face like a foot when they’re born and I didn’t want the typical clichéd photoshoot with her. I still don’t want the cliché, but I’ve changed my view of photoshoots in general.

Over on Tums 2 Tots, I wrote about the wonderful experience that I got to have with Salomé from Yellow Lab. She did an amazing photoshoot with me and Harley, and we had such a great time doing it. It was relaxed and fun, and I never once felt awkward about needing to feed the little princess or change her nappy. Instead of constantly apologizing for Harley being a baby, it felt welcomed and normal, which meant that I could breathe and just enjoy the experience. But even more than the fun experience, the final product has completely changed my opinion of baby photoshoots. Continue Reading

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6 Comments Rambling